


Deeper than the Oceans of Water

by sparklinglemonade



Category: Long Exposure (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mermaids, human mitch, mermaid jonas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:11:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11820966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklinglemonade/pseuds/sparklinglemonade
Summary: Mitch discovers something, or someone, he thinks he's been waiting for all his life.





	1. Past Lives

Mitch’s shoulder blossoms with pain as he accidentally scrapes the bark of a tree with it, barking a curse at it. He bursts with renewed anger and frustration and pulls back a fist, sharp daggers of fresh pain in his knuckles when it connects with the rough tree trunk.  

 

He glares at the tree, but decides to leave his fight with it and continues deeper into the forest, clutching his throbbing hand. He’s so angry,  _livid_  at his step-dad for the bright red mark across his face that still stings subtly. He remembers how scared his mom had looked when he ran out the door, opening her mouth to say something to him, a warning, maybe, or a plea to come back into the disgusting trailer – but Gary had shouted her name and she went skittering back to go and calm that fucker down before he broke some more shit to add to the lack of household things they didn’t have anyway. 

 

His eyes prick with tears, but before he can go punch another tree in anger, he realises that he’s on the edge of a sloping cliff that looks out onto the ocean.  

 

Immediately, he makes his way down, almost getting a face full of rough sand when the rocks below his feet give out, barely managing to regain his balance. His sneakers crunch in the sand, and despite himself, his breath hitches at how serene and private and  _beautiful_  the beach is, the green and blue shades of the ocean swept through with lines of pure white froth.  

 

Mitch makes his way towards the edge of the water, toeing off his shoes so he can wade into the cold water. He runs his fingertips through the clearness of the waves, and he forgets about his shitty home life for the briefest moment. 

 

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, trying to make crumbling sandcastles that he stomps over in the end, laughing at how easily they give under the bare soles of his feet. Eventually he gets tired and sits near the edges of the waves, not bothering to roll up his tattered jeans when the water soaks them. The sun is starting to set, staining the sky an orangey-pink that he marvels at.  

 

He almost lays back into the sand, relaxed and content, before he spots a dark spot that stands out against the clear blue of the ocean.  

 

He can’t really make out what it is with the light of the sun partially blinding him, but it seems to be watching him, some kind of marine animal with it's head poking out of the water. Mitch squints and stands up, slowly wades into the water with a hand over his eyes. 

 

He sees the sunlight reflecting off what seems to be dark curls heavy with water on the animal’s head, which is paler compared to them, and he’s confused for a moment, because what kind of fucking animal has curly hair –  

 

It’s a boy. 

 

A boy with dark freckles and curly hair and who is in the middle of the goddamn  _ocean_  and seems to be staying afloat with ease even as the waves tumble over his head, what in the  _fuck_ – 

 

Before Mitch can yell at the boy, ask him  _“_ _W_ _hat the fuck_ _?!_ _”_ , he suddenly turns and dives into the water, disappearing, but not before Mitch catches a glimpse of a sleek, speckled tail like a fucking  _seal’s._  

 

A tail. A fucking tail. 

 

Mitch gapes, almost looks around him to ask the non-existent people if they saw that too.  

 

His mind supplies him with a single word that makes his heart want to beat out of his chest and his face light up with excitement. 

 

 _Mermaid_. 

 

Mitch immediately wades out of the water, barely snagging on his shoes before he sprints back to his trailer to tell his mom about the  _fucking mermaid_  he just fucking saw.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The sun is starting to set as Mitch lazily makes his way to the cove, stomping on fallen twigs and leaves. Shitty day at work, serving shitty fast food to even shittier customers.  

 

His job fucking sucks ass, but it pays, at least a little, for his tuition fees at the Sellwood community college. He hates it, hates sitting in classrooms with stupid fucking people learning shit he doesn’t care about, English literature and grammar and supply and demand and other stupid  _shit_ he’s forced to take. Going to college wasn’t his choice, he had wanted to leave school right after high school graduation, but his mom had insisted, saying that it would create better opportunities for him in life, or  _whatever_.  

 

He would honestly rather have died, but the possibility of getting out of Sellwood and the mere fact that his mom had saved up so much of her meagre income despite being in jail for years had swayed him, and now here he is, serving greasy burgers and trying not to stab everyone at his college. 

 

Finally, he spots the edge of the cliff through the trees and breaks into a jog, eagerly making his way down to the cove. When he gets to the beach, he pauses to breathe in the taste of salt, then makes his way to where the cliff face curves and almost touches the waterline. Mitch sits against the damp stone, gets out a cigarette and takes a long drag and breathes out, the scent of smoke mingling with the salt of the ocean. His shoes are shucked off so he can feel the cold water against his toes, relishing in how refreshing the water feels against his bare skin. 

 

Mitch takes in the sight of the brightness of the sun dimming, it’s edges bleeding into the sky in a blur of oranges and pinks and purples.  

 

Suddenly, he recalls how he had hallucinated seeing a  _mermaid_  of all things, and how his mom had laughed the way adults do when they know you’re just being stupid. But at least she had borrowed him a book from the library about sea creatures, and he had pored over the pages about seals for hours, trying to make out which one of them had been the same as his mermaid. 

 

He snorts bitterly.  

 

Mitch smokes until his cigarette is barely a few centimetres long, and puts the butt out in his jacket pocket. He doesn’t want to litter the beach with his unsavoury habits. 

 

He puts his hands back into his pockets and closes his eyes, breathing in the salty air and the soft sounds of the waves tumbling into the sand. He almost dozes off, lulled by the sound of the water, but he’s awoken to the sound of splashing that doesn’t quite fit into the rhythmic crashing of the tide. 

 

Mitch sits up, and yeah, there definitely is something thrashing around somewhere in the water, but he can’t really make out where. He stands up and realises that the sound is coming from his left, where the sand has mostly ended, instead littered with slick rocks and boulders.  

 

There are a few large boulders obscuring the area where the splashing seems to be coming from, and Mitch makes his way to it, carefully stepping onto the slippery rocks. The splashing is inconsistent, occasional silences punctuating the sound of probably some animal stuck in a tide pool. Mitch sighs, hoping that whatever animal he has to deal with doesn’t bite his fucking hand off. 

 

Mitch grasps a cranny in one of the rocks, using it to pull himself over the small boulder, and finds himself in a tide pool, as he expected.  

 

What he doesn’t expect is the boy in tide pool. 

 

His hair is plastered to his darkly freckled face, jet-black and glistening. His wet skin is the colour of coffee, and his terrified eyes, staring up at Mitch, reflect the colour of the ocean near the shore, a deep, emerald green. Mitch’s eyes travel down his soft-looking body, where his curved belly melds seamlessly into a grey, speckled tail ending in a pair of small fins.  

 

He’s seen him before. Mitch recognises the dark hair and the speckled tail.

 

His mermaid, from a hundred years ago. 

 

Mitch wants to stand there and gawk at the boy – no,  _mermaid -_  but the fishing net eroding deep slashes into the mermaid's tail makes Mitch step closer and fall to his knees.  

 

The mermaid flinches away from Mitch, his eyes flying from Mitch’s face to his hands and back again. He tries pulling off the tangled fishnet but it just makes it cut deeper into him, deep red blood seeping into the clear water. He cries out, and Mitch can see tears running down his face.  

 

Mitch opens his mouth to plead with the mermaid to let him get the fishing net off, but before he can, the mermaid looks back up at him. 

 

 _“Help me.”_  

 

His voice is croaky and hoarse, as if he's never used it before. Mitch sees a glimpse of rows of tiny, sharp teeth, but Mitch ignores it and frantically gets out his switchblade out of his pocket, his fingers trembling.  

 

The mermaid flinches again when his switchblade pops open. 

 

“It’s okay. I – I’m not gonna hurt you,” Mitch says, but the mermaid still looks afraid, even when he doesn’t move away. 

 

Mitch starts sawing through the thick lines of rope, haphazardly hacking through the ones around the mermaid’s body, trying not to pull on it and tighten them around his tail. He tears the last few strands of rope apart with his hands, the entire net loosening around the mermaid’s body, and he cries out in relief. Mitch pulls away the net away from the mermaid, and reaches for him, taking one of his arms to drape around Mitch’s neck and curling his arms around his shoulders and his tail to scoop him up. He cries out again when the rough flannel of Mitch’s jacket scrapes against the raw wounds on his tail, and Mitch blurts an apology. 

 

“No, it’s okay, I’m f-fine,” the mermaid says, and he sounds exhausted, pain reverberating in his voice. Up close, he can see that his eyes are puffy and that there are deep, violet bags under them.

 

Mitch climbs over the boulder again, almost slipping over the rocks with the heavy weight in his arms. His biceps start to strain with the effort but he ignores it and carries the mermaid onto the beach.  

 

Mitch stands at the edge of the water with the mermaid in his arms, asks, “Should – should I put you in the water?” 

 

His heart tugs as he says it, as if it doesn’t want Mitch to let him go. 

 

The mermaid shakes his head, and Mitch can feel him trembling in his arms.  

 

“I cannot swim like this. And the blood, the – the sharks, they will know, and my family is far away. Please, please do not throw me in -” 

 

“Okay, okay, Christ, I won’t, I’ll take you back to my apartment,” Mitch says. 

 

The mermaid seems to hesitate, but nods weakly before his head drops onto Mitch’s shoulder, falling limp in his arms. Mitch puts him down gently on the sand and shrugs off his jacket as quickly as he can. 

 

“What – what are you doing?” he whispers. 

 

“I’m just giving you my jacket.” Mitch helps him put his arms in the sleeves and wraps it tightly around him before picking him up again and climbing his way out of the cove.


	2. Happy Accidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever think what if we never met?  
> You love me, but you don't know it yet  
> Everything is just an accident  
> A happy accident
> 
> \- Happy Accidents by Saint Motel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitch and Jonas have a conversation.

 

Mitch stares at the mermaid, slumped and asleep in Mitch's tiny bathtub, his tail fins splayed across the porcelain. His cheek is pressed against the tub, smushing his face into a pout. 

 

Mitch has situated himself onto an upturned crate he had stolen to put all his textbooks in. He had gently put the exhausted mermaid into his tub and filled it with warm water and left to get some toast (do mermaids even eat toast?), but by the time he had come back, the mermaid had passed out.  

 

Without thinking, Mitch gets off the crate and shuffles closer on his knees. He should probably give him some space, but Mitch can’t help himself as he leans closer to the mermaid’s face, trying to get as close as he was before when the mermaid was in his arms. He can see in perfect detail the mermaid's long, thick eyelashes and the smooth waves of his hair and the smattering of freckles on his silky skin–  

 

 _Jesus Christ, pull yourself together for fucks’ sake._  

 

Mitch reels back and instead inspects his tail, the cuts still diffusing blood into the water, albeit at a much slower pace than before. Mitch has no idea how to treat them; he doesn’t have any fucking medicine, and why would human meds work on a fucking mermaid anyway? 

 

Mitch sighs and puts his head in his hands. His fingers itch for a cigarette.  

 

He stands and walks out of his apartment, not bothering to put on his jacket. 

 

* * *

 

 

When Mitch comes back into his apartment, the sky is completely dark. He quietly closes the door behind him and pads into the bathroom. The mermaid is still asleep, now rolled over to the other side. Mitch wonders if he’s even comfortable. But then again, he doesn’t exactly have waterproof pillows. 

 

He decides to lay in bed until the mermaid wakes up. 

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Mitch wakes up with drool on his cheek and his hair stiff with sea salt. He wipes his mouth, standing on shaky legs to go to take a piss. 

 

Mitch walks into the bathroom and jumps when he sees the mermaid, who is languidly trailing his fingers through the water. In his sleepy haze he had completely forgotten the events of the previous night. 

 

The mermaid startles, water sloshing over the edge of the tub as he frantically presses himself away from Mitch, his hands trying and failing to grip onto the sides of the tub. 

 

"I'm not gonna hurt you," Mitch says quickly, raising his hands up in a placating gesture. The mermaid continues staring at him, his wide eyes taking in Mitch for several long seconds before he finally decompresses, sinking lower into the water.  

 

Mitch puts his hands down, his movements slow and deliberate. "I - My name is Mitch," he says.  

 

The mermaid's eyes flicker from Mitch's hands to his legs and up to his face before he says hesitantly, "I am Jonas."  

 

Mitch can’t place his accent, his words crisply formed, but Mitch can hear a hint of a Californian accent in the way he pronounces his vowels. The mermaid - Jonas - visibly swallows and continues, his voice trembling, "What will you do with me?"   

 

"What? I – I mean, I thought I'd just put you back into the water when you're better?" Mitch says, unsure.  

 

The mermaid looks at him carefully, his soft features disbelieving. "You mean you won't... use me for – for money? Or fame?" 

 

Mitch shakes his head immediately. "'Course not. I wouldn't fuckin' do that to you." 

 

The mermaid nods slowly, but Mitch can still see fear glimmering in his green eyes. 

 

Mitch pauses, then gestures lamely at the mermaid’s tail. “So... should I do something about... that?” 

 

Jonas looks up at him warily. “It will heal by itself. But if I had seaweed I could wrap them," he says. 

 

Before Mitch can tell him that he’ll go back to the cove right now, Jonas continues, “Thank you. For saving me. I owe you my life.” 

 

“Oh, um, you’re welcome. Any time.” 

 

The mermaid nods absently, twisting his hands in his lap.  

 

"Um, I didn't know mermaids actually existed," Mitch says hesitantly. 

 

Jonas' eyebrows knit together, surveying Mitch. "Well, we do." 

 

“But, but why don’t we know shit about you?” Mitch stares at his own palms, as if they’ll yield answers. 

 

"We choose not to let humans see us. Of course, that did not work completely, since you have heard of us." 

 

"Why?" Mitch asks, confused and irrationally irritated with the overwhelming feeling of ignorance of the existence of the whole other  _species_  of human he doesn't know of. 

 

"Why... what?" 

 

"Why are you hiding from us?" 

 

Jonas stares at him incredulously. “What do you mean? Humans are so dangerous, you would just take us from the ocean, and even now you pollute it with your  _garbage_ –“ 

 

Mitch immediately bristles. “We’re not all like that.” 

 

Jonas shrinks, barely noticeably, at Mitch's harsh tone but he recovers quickly and purses his lips. “I know that you are not. You saved me, after all, but I’ve heard so many stories of mermaids getting killed by your giant boats and your nets and the poison you give our fish – and look, I got caught in a net myself. I was so sure I was going to die until you found me.”  

 

His voice softens to a whisper at the end, and Mitch can hear tears watering through his voice. 

 

Mitch's heart tugs in his chest. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Mitch says, and Jonas looks as surprised as Mitch feels at the apology. 

 

Jonas looks down again and shakes his head. “It is not your fault.” 

 

They fall back into silence.  

 

“I’ve seen you before,” Mitch says finally. Jonas' face distorts, perplexed. It takes him a second, but his eyes slowly widen as he properly takes in Mitch’s features. “...Yes. I recognise you. The human boy on the beach. ...But your hair is different now.” 

 

Mitch subconsciously runs his hands through his dyed hair. “Yeah, I dyed it a couples years back. Can’t be bothered to buy some more hair dye, though.” 

 

Jonas sits up, leaning closer, his big green eyes staring into Mitch, and he almost leans away from the hint of sharp teeth in Jonas’ mouth. 

 

“Hair ...dye? What is that?” 

 

“Oh – it’s like, colourin’ or somethin’. You can make your hair any colour you want. Well, not all, just ...some. Depends. I dunno’,” Mitch finishes lamely. 

 

“I didn’t know humans could do that.”  

 

Mitch shrugs, and once again, they’re silent.  

 

“Um, do ya’ want any food?” Mitch asks. 

 

“Yes, please.” 

 

Mitch stands, but for a few awkward moments he stares down at the mermaid, and Jonas blinks.  

 

“Oh – um. Do you have any fish?” 

 

Mitch crinkles his nose, because at best, he has some questionable pasta and packs of instant ramen. "Can you eat toast?" He asks, and Jonas cocks his head to the side. "You know what – I'll just get it for you. See if you like it." 

 

Jonas nods, and Mitch leaves the bathroom. He makes some more toast, and while he waits for the ping of the toaster, he contemplates what he’s going to do next with the mermaid in his bathtub. 

 

Oh – right. Get seaweed. 

 

* * *

 

The next day, Mitch wakes up from a fitful sleep feeling slightly sleep-deprived, but that’s a standard feeling. What he isn’t used to is the barely containable excitement he feels brimming over inside him, and he jumps out of bed. 

 

He goes to barge into the bathroom, but decides to knock quietly before he carefully sticks his head around the door. 

 

Jonas is lounging in the tub, apparently reading the words on the nearly empty soap bottle. He looks up at Mitch, who comes into the bathroom. 

 

“Hello, Mitch,” Jonas says. 

 

Mitch greets him back, and slips in the thin layer of water on the tiled floor, cursing and barely managing to catch himself on the edge of the sink. 

 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, the water was freezing and I remember you turned those knobs and I accidentally overflowed the tub, I’m so sorry,” Jonas blabbers, his eyebrows pulled together in concern.  

 

Mitch shakes his head, one hand leaned against the sink, “S’fine, Spots. I’m good. Anyway, how’re ya’ feeling?” 

 

Jonas sinks back into the water, the water level reaching his mouth, and he says, “It’s alright. The seaweed helped.” 

 

Mitch opens his mouth, but Jonas interrupts him. 

 

“It’ll be better when my legs come.” 

 

Mitch freezes. “You –  _what_ _?”_  

 

“My legs.” 

 

“I know, I heard you, but -,” Mitch shakes his head, trying to get his scrambled thoughts into order. “How do you have  _legs_?”  

 

Jonas pauses, as if he’s trying to search for the right words. “Usually, we will migrate to warmer waters during the winter. But if we don’t, we get legs so we can go onto land. But it is – apparently – very painful, and I’ve never stayed in these waters long enough to try it.” 

 

“So, will you? Stay here long enough, I mean,” Mitch asks.  

 

Jonas doesn't say anything for a moment. "I would like to. I want to learn about the human world, but my guardian has never allowed me to even go up on land that might have traces of you," he murmurs softly. "I've always wanted to meet a human." 

 

Mitch inexplicably flushes. Maybe it's the shame that Jonas had to have his first meeting with a human be with such a piece of shit like Mitch, or maybe, maybe it's the feeling of being special, of being the first human that Jonas has ever met. 

 

"I could take you around. When your legs come," Mitch blurts, and he doesn't know what compels him to say it, because he has school and work to think about, and it would probably be safest to just put Jonas back into the ocean; but his heart is pounding as he says the words, and Jonas, Jonas is probably the most interesting thing that has ever happened to him, one of the few things that has made him excited to wake up in the morning, and he can't help but want to show him the human world. 

 

Jonas' green eyes widen. "I – I couldn't do that to you, Mitch. I do not want to be a burden," Jonas says softly, but Mitch waves him away. 

 

"'S all good, Joey. I got time." 

 

Despite himself, the corners of Jonas' mouth turn up at the nickname. "Are you really sure?" 

 

Mitch rolls his eyes, his mouth curling into a lopsided grin in an attempt conceal the nervous excitement coursing through him. "'Course I am." 

 

Jonas nods slowly.  

 

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it fuckgin is
> 
> ao3 is formatting evrthing weird but whatever hope u guys liked the newest chapter 
> 
> as always leave a comment/kudos if u liked it


	3. Live In The Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's live in the moment  
> Come back Sunday morning  
> A lie, oh well  
> When you're gone  
> Goodbye, so long, farewell
> 
> \- Live In The Moment by Portugal. The Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jonas gets his legs.

Jonas’ eyes snap open, adrenaline pumping through him as the phantom pain on his tail fades away. His mind is disoriented, the porcelain tiles in front of him creating a dizzying pattern as he tries to remember where he is. He takes in a deep, shuddering breath, and leans over the side of the tub to peek outside the bathroom. 

“Mitch?” he calls out hesitantly. No one answers after a few moments. Before he sinks back into the water, Jonas notices a plate on the crate with a strip of some kind of meat on it, and a small piece of yellow paper besides it. Jonas leans closer, but the lines and squiggles on the paper are indecipherable to him. He ignores it and turns to the plate, and picks up the strange meat with wet fingers.

The meat crumbles in his hands a little bit, and he recoils, dropping it back onto the plate, but the sharp hunger in his stomach makes him reluctantly lean closer to the meat, and upon closer inspection, it has an underlying smell of fish under the overpowering scent of something  _burnt_. Jonas picks away at the golden crumbs, finding that it's just a layer (to protect the fish from decaying?) and then peeling it off to eat the fish beneath. It doesn’t taste bad, but it’s definitely different. He wonders what the humans do to their fish.

He also wonders why this particular human is being so kind to him, even though he looks like he could have shark teeth hidden behind his lips, embedded in his jaws. He wonders why Mitch hasn’t sold him off somewhere or used him for the terrifying experiments that Dean always tells him about. He wonders what Sidney would think – 

Sidney.

_Oh, god._

Jonas' throat closes up as he realises that he had completely forgotten about his own sister. She's probably worried sick, and winter is closing in, his herd would probably be migrating in the next week, maybe even the next few  _days_ - 

Jonas forces himself to breathe, take in deep breaths, to think rationally. He looks down at his tail, tears welling up at the sight of the seaweed wrapped sloppily around it. He definitely can't swim like this. He'll have to wait until his legs appear, and maybe he can walk down to the beach and call to her, if he can even swim that far with  _legs_. He clenches his small fists. He can get through this, it'll be fine, he tells himself. But he can't stop the frantic, desperate feeling that his herd is going to leave him behind, and that Sid probably thinks he's dead, or dying, stranded somewhere or kidnapped. 

All he can do is sit and wait. 

* * *

 

A loud slam jolts Jonas from the half-sleep state he had been in, his mind unconsciously roiling over the anxiety of the possibility that his herd had already abandoned him. His heart is pounding, horribly surprised by the loud noise, but he manages to compose himself when Mitch walks into the bathroom, his hoodie still over his head. He pushes the fabric back, running his long fingers through his hair as he does so.

"Hey. You okay?" Mitch asks, gesturing to Jonas' tail. 

Jonas nods in response, "Yes, thank you."

"You ate the fish I left you. Was it okay?" 

"Yes, it was nice," Jonas says, ignoring the strange, crumbly skin he had elected not to eat. "Where did you go?" he asks curiously, and Mitch raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"Didn't you read the note I left you? I just went to class for a while," he says.

Jonas pauses, then sinks into the water, a blush rising to his face, and it takes Mitch a moment to realise his mistake. His face burns. " _Shit_ , sorry. 'Course you can't fuckin' read, I'm a fuckin' idiot."

Jonas just shrugs in response. "It's okay. I don't blame you for not knowing."

Mitch almost wants to punch himself in the face, but before he can, Jonas says, "Mitch? Can I... Ask for another favour?"

Mitch nods, almost too enthusiastically. "Yeah. Anything."

"When my legs come, will you take me back to the beach?"

Mitch's eyebrows raise, and he tries to hide his disappointment. "I – yeah. Sure. I just thought... you said you wanted to, um, stay? For a while."

"No! I do, I do. But, my - my sister, she is probably worried about me. We got separated when I was caught in the net. I have to tell her where I am, and if I'm staying, before the herd leaves for the winter. ...I can't wait a winter to see her again," Jonas says, his eyes wide and desperate. "Please," he adds quietly, and Mitch crumbles.

"Of course."

* * *

 

Mitch pages through a children's book, its pages falling away slightly at the seam. He makes a face, shoving the thin book back in between the others. He sighs heavily, loudly, and drops to a crouch to search for others. He hears a  _"_ _Shh_ _!"_ behind him, but he pointedly ignores it, smirking to himself at the indignant huff he gets in response.

Mitch fishes out a book entitled  _Lost and Found_ , illustrated with a simple drawing of a penguin and boy standing in an upturned umbrella, seemingly in the middle of the sea. He smiles softly to himself. Jonas would probably like this book. Penguins and shit.

He stands up, picking up the small pile of other children's books he had also picked out. He walks over the counter, slapping the books onto the hard marble, and elicits a glare from the librarian. She makes a face at the children's books, raising her eyebrow at Mitch. Mitch narrows his eyes at her. "Just fuckin' scan 'em for me." She scoffs, but complies, and tosses his library card back at him, the one he had spent an entire afternoon looking for yesterday. Mitch shoots another glare at her before scooping up the books and stalking out. 

Mitch makes it home fifteen minutes later, slamming his door open, grinning when he hears a soft "Mitch?" from the bathroom. His grin widens even more at the way Jonas' face lights up when he sees the pile of books in Mitch's arms. He leans over the edge of the tub, peering at the brightly coloured covers. Mitch sits down next to the tub with a huff, trying to make himself comfortable against the cold tiles.

"So, which one d'ya wanna start with today, Spots?" Mitch says, splaying the books out in front him for Jonas to survey. 

Jonas hums, and he tilts his head to look at them. Mitch watches him as he straightens and points at the one with the penguin and the boy on the cover, "That one!" Mitch nods, picking it up. "Please," Jonas adds sheepishly.  

Mitch grins at him, "'Knew you'd like this one."

Mitch settles beside the tub, and starts to read. Jonas leans towards him, his wet hair dripping slightly onto Mitch's shirt. Mitch only stumbles over his words a little as he peeks at Jonas out of the corner of his eyes. Unlike the first time when Mitch had tried to read to Jonas, when he had almost combusted when Jonas had nearly pressed his cheek into Mitch's. He's surprised he hadn't actually started  _sizzling_. 

If that wasn't a testament to how lonely Mitch is, he doesn't know what is. 

Mitch reads slowly and carefully, letting Jonas sound out the letters himself, soft and hesitant. They finish the book, and Mitch closes it gently after Jonas had finally let his fingers off the page, tracing along the pictures. Mitch is about to suggest a second book before he hears a quiet sniffle beside him. When he turns, Jonas has sunken into the water, and his eyes are slightly glossy, pink around the edges. 

"...Holy shit. Are you  _crying_?" Mitch asks, his grin turning into a taunt.

"Shut up!" Jonas says, but his voice is watery. When Mitch starts to cackle, Jonas sits up straighter. "I'm not c-crying! Mitch!" 

Mitch just laughs harder, "I can't believe you're crying! Holy  _shit_ , Spots, you're such a  _sap_." 

"No! I am  _not_ crying, Mitch!" Jonas insists, but when Mitch doesn't stop laughing, he starts scooping up handfuls of water and spraying it on Mitch, and he splutters. Mitch's grin turns predatory, and he protests his damp hair with a large hand over Jonas' face, trying to push him back into the tub.

"Stop it, ya little twerp!"

"No!" Jonas yells back, and tries to push Mitch's hand away, but Mitch starts splashing him back in a futile attempt to make Jonas even wetter than he already is. Jonas starts laughing at Mitch's hair falling over his eyes, and Mitch responds by ruffling Jonas' hair mercilessly. Jonas is just about to start splashing water on Mitch again before he points at the almost damp books, gasping.

"Stop! They're going to be wet!" 

Mitch lets up, panting slightly. "Hey, you started it," he says teasingly.

Jonas rolls his eyes, but smiles back at Mitch, and Mitch's heart skips a beat.

"So, can we read another one?" 

Mitch grins back at him. He settles back beside the tub and Jonas rests his elbows over the edge, listening to Mitch read a different book as he takes in the pictures over Mitch's shoulder.

* * *

 

Jonas flips the page, trying to recognise the letters on the page. He remembers the word " _penguin_ " and a couple others, but that's it. He sighs, and wishes Mitch was back here with him, but he had more class. Jonas wonders what he's learning. He should ask when Mitch gets home. 

Jonas turns back to the book, holding it over the edge so that he doesn't accidentally drop it. He turns the page, and - 

Searing,  _agonising_ pain envelopes his legs, and Jonas cries out, dropping the book on the floor with a  _smack_. He grips the edges of the tub, watching through terrified eyes as his tail starts to change, the smooth, grey skin turning to resemble the colour of the upper half of his body. He whimpers when a fresh wave of pain overtakes him, and his tail feels as if it's being snapped in half, and the gashes from the net was  _nothing_  compared to this agony. Jonas can feel himself start hyperventilating, watching his body change in a way that he's never seen it do before, his eyes welling up with tears from the pain. 

Jonas has no idea how much time has passed, but it seems like hours before the pain subsides, and he's left with what seems to be a pair of legs.

* * *

 

Mitch puts his hands in his pockets, ready to leave the dorm bathrooms. The presence of Jonas hasn't exactly allowed him to go to his own. He hopes that Jonas' legs don't take much longer to come. 

He picks up his backpack and walks out, almost reaching the doors of the building before he hears Javier's voice behind him.

"Hey, bro. Wait up." Javier jogs to catch up with Mitch, who raises a hand in greeting. 

"So, Scratch, Cliff, an' I were thinkin' of comin' over to yours to watch that new alien movie," Javier says.

 "Sure -," Mitch says, but then he remembers Jonas. "Wait, no. Can't. I got... Plans tonight."

Javier raises his eyebrows, and Mitch fumbles. "With my mom," he adds.

Javier's eyebrows raise even higher. "I thought your mom was takin' a trip with your aunt up north?"

Mitch opens his mouth, but he doesn't have an answer. Javier starts to grin, and Mitch sighs heavily. 

"Just – I can't, okay. Don't fuckin' come over, bozo."

Javier is really grinning now. "Ho-ly shit, dude. D'ya have a  _date?_ " 

Mitch glares at him, snarling, " _No_ , Jesus Christ, will you just fuck  _off._ "

Javier laughs, and Mitch can feel his face burning. "So who's the lucky guy?"

"Ugh, he's  _not_ – just, don't come over or I'll fuckin' kill you," Mitch snaps, and turns away, walking towards his apartment. He can hear Javier still laughing at him, and he stomps away.

"Bye, dude," Javier calls out after him. "Have fun!"

Mitch rolls his eyes, but turns and waves back at Javi anyway.

* * *

 

Mitch opens the door to the bathroom, and is greeted with the sight of a very  _human_ looking Jonas in his tub, his legs oddly hairless and smooth. Jonas gives Mitch a weak smile. 

"My legs came."

Mitch nods. "I can see that." He can also see how very naked Jonas is without his tail, and he snaps his head back up to Jonas' face before he can start blushing. 

Jonas' eyes look tired, his face pale with pain.

Mitch kneels beside the bathtub, concerned. "Hey, you okay? Y'look pretty rough."

Jonas shrugs. "It was very painful."

"You hungry? I can get you some food."

Jonas nods, and moves to sit up, his face contorting at the stiffness of his body.

"Wait, you're gonna need some clothes," Mitch says, reaching for a towel. He offers Jonas a hand, and carefully helps him out of the tub. He awkwardly wraps Jonas in the towel, Jonas' face confused at the strange material. 

He leads Jonas out and sits him down on the edge of his bed and ruffles through the clothes in his drawers. He finds one of his plain shirts - one without inappropriate comments - and a pair of cargo shorts he's never worn because they were the wrong size. He gives them to Jonas, who very slowly puts them on, getting confused with the number of holes in the shirt and needing Mitch to help him put his arms in the right places.

Mitch takes a step back, surveying Jonas. His shirt is falling off of Jonas' shoulder, but at least the cargo shorts seem to fit okay. Jonas inspects the fabric, rubbing it between his fingers, and Mitch clears his throat.

"Are they okay?" he asks, and Jonas nods in response, thanking him.

"Can you take me to the beach?" Jonas asks suddenly.

"Now? Don't you... want to rest, or somethin'?" Mitch asks, gesturing at Jonas' legs. Jonas purses his lips, looking conflicted.

"I mean, I could like, carry you there, but we'd probably have to wait 'til it's dark," Mitch says.

Jonas flushes red. "No! I mean, I can wait, for a while. Until I can walk properly."

"Do you wanna like, take a nap? Here?"

"That would be nice... If you don't mind."

"'Course I don't mind. Here, you can get under the covers." Mitch pulls back the blanket and Jonas hesitantly lays down. Mitch switches off the lights, closes the curtains until the room is dim and softly lit by the small amount of light streaming in through the curtains. Jonas looks up at him, his eyes bright in the twilight. 

"Will you take me to the beach tomorrow?" he asks softly.

"I will, Joey," he promises, and Jonas relaxes into the sheets, his eyes slowly drifting closed. Mitch stands beside him for a moment, watching his breathing deepen and the rise of his chest slow, before he goes to his tiny desk, switching the lamp light on and trying not to turn away from his homework and watch Jonas sleep like a creep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the newest chapter of le killed me dead so i hope u like the newest chapter of this fic too
> 
> oh yeah n i have an art blog at sparklinglem0nade.tumblr.com btw
> 
> thanks for reading!!!!!


	4. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I care, care  
> I'm sorry that I care, care  
> It's really not that fair, fair  
> I can't help but care 
> 
> \- Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sid and Mitch meet, amongst other things.

 

Jonas sleepily blinks his eyes open, unsure of what had woken him up. His head is aching slightly, the material underneath his head too soft for his liking. It’s dark in the room, and when he looks around, Jonas can barely see the outline of Mitch on a chair across the room, his head slumped onto his chest. 

 

A pang of guilt aches Jonas’ chest, and he bites his lip. Carefully, Jonas stands, shaky and wobbling dangerously on his weak legs. He makes his way to Mitch slowly, almost trips over a bunch of stray clothing on the floor when Mitch snarls suddenly, harsh and angry.  

 

Jonas is ready to cower, apologise for waking him up, but when he looks at Mitch, his eyes are still shut. Curiously, Jonas stumbles closer and flinches when Mitch growls again in his sleep.  

 

He must be having a nightmare. Jonas presses his hand into Mitch’s forearm, and Mitch twitches, his face contorting in a sort of angry fear at whatever dream is haunting him. He whimpers, soft and scared, and Jonas’ heart catches. 

 

Jonas shakes Mitch’s forearm gently, but Mitch continues to make ugly, desperate sounds in his sleep. Jonas shakes harder when Mitch starts to thrash a bit in his chair, almost slipping out of it. Jonas calls his name, soft at first but rising in volume as he watches Mitch fight off his nightmares. 

 

“ _Mitch!”_ Jonas shouts. Mitch startles violently, looking around himself with wild, crazed eyes.  

 

_“What – what the fuck -“_  

 

“You were having a nightmare. I – I’m sorry – you seemed very distressed,” Jonas says. 

 

Mitch looks down at Jonas’ hand still clutching his forearm, and Jonas hastily snatches away his hand.  

 

“It’s – I’m fine. Thanks,” Mitch says gruffly, refusing to meet Jonas’ eyes. “Sorry for wakin’ ya’ up.” 

 

“No! No, it’s fine.” 

 

Mitch just shrugs, his frown deepening, and Jonas swallows nervously. 

 

A few moments of silence pass before Jonas asks hesitantly, “Do you want to sleep in the bed?” 

 

* * *

 

Mitch looks over at Joey, who is facing away from him. He looks back to the road, a slight bump jostling them a bit. Mitch sees Joey purse his lips nervously out of the corner of his eye. 

 

Mitch sighs, and he’s hit with the sudden memory of sharing the bed with Jonas last night, the bed too small for them to have a comfortable distance between their bodies. They had ended up with their backs pressed against each other, and Mitch could have almost felt how tense Jonas had been through the stiffness of his spine against Mitch’s.  

 

“Are we almost there?” 

 

Mitch glances back at Jonas. “Yeah. Just a little farther down.” 

 

They continue in silence, riding in Mitch’s second-hand, worn Prius. It’s not even far from the cove, but after seeing Jonas fall flat on his face after trying to stand up, he had insisted on taking the car, much to Jonas’ embarrassment.  

 

Mitch opens his mouth to say something, anything to pierce the tense silence between them, but then he sees the edge of the forest and Jonas straightens, staring intently at the slips of blue ocean through the trees. 

 

Mitch stops his car at the side of the road, and they get out.  

 

Mitch starts forward, but Jonas hesitates, his hand still pressed into the metal of the car like a lifeline, his stare concentrated hard at his feet.  

 

“Jonas?” Mitch asks, unsure. 

 

“... I can do this. Don’t worry.” 

 

Mitch watches as Jonas trips over a stray branch. 

 

“Oh – shit, Christ –“ 

 

Mitch grasps Joey’s arm and pulls him up. Jonas blushes, deep and embarrassed. 

 

They make their way to the cove, silent save for the sounds of twigs and leaves crunching and their soft breaths. Mitch watches Jonas’ face as they near the edge of the cliff, his face lighting up completely when they make their way down, Jonas' feet stumbling and awkward. He walks towards the sea, and Mitch follows a few steps behind, unsure of what he's about to do. Abruptly, Jonas turns to Mitch. “I’m sorry, I’m just going to – just give me a moment. Please.” 

 

Mitch nods. “Yeah, o’ course, go ahead.” And then Jonas starts to strip. 

 

_Shit._  

 

Mitch turns away, but thankfully Jonas leaves on his too-large boxers. Mitch’s eyes widen as Jonas takes one last look at him, and then dives into the blue water. 

 

There’s a splash, and then nothing but waves crashing over each other. 

 

Mitch's eyes widen, and he twitches, wanting to go and jump in after Jonas.  

 

_No_. He’s a fucking mermaid.  _Calm the fuck down._  

 

After a long few minutes, Mitch decides to sit down in the rough sand. He crosses his legs and looks into the smooth blue expanse, keeping an eye out for stray splashes and curly hair. 

 

* * *

 

The air bubbles blur Jonas’ vision as he shouts Sidney’s name into the blue depths. He propels himself downwards, cursing his clumsy legs, wishing he had his sleek tail. 

 

He knows it’s going to be difficult to try and find her in the dark depths but he swims anyway, occasionally coming up for air and looking back once as Mitch’s figure shrinks. He aims for where their herd usually sleeps, close to the rocky outcroppings of a cliff face further away.  

 

As he gets closer, his heart starts to sink through his stomach as he realises that no one is there. He frantically pulls himself closer, but the rocks are empty and he can’t see any shiny tails swimming through the water. Jonas bites back a sob, heart pounding as he swims further down the cliff face.  

 

No one’s there. He’s been left behind. Not even his sister is here, and they all think he’s captured or  _dead_ , and it’ll be months before they come back, and what if Mitch changes his mind about letting him stay –  

 

“ _Jonas!”_  

 

Jonas turns with his heart in his mouth, startled and hopeful –  

 

It’s Sidney. 

 

Jonas almost cries in relief and dives into the water, his sister doing the same and they collide in the water, holding each other tight.  

 

“Jonas – Oh my god, we thought you were fucking  _dead_ , we looked everywhere Jo, I had to fight Dean to let me stay a few more days and keep searching for you –“, Sid says, her voice shaky as she fights back tears of relief. 

 

“I know, I know, I- I’m so sorry, I thought everyone had left, including you,” Jonas cries. 

 

Sid pulls back, still gripping his arms. “God, Jo, where the fuck did you even go? When that net pulled you away I thought you got captured – Wait. What the fuck.” 

 

She’s looking down, at his weak, human legs waving through the water, struggling to keep him afloat. 

 

Jonas grins weakly at her. “Well, I guess I beat you. I got my legs first.” 

 

Sid stares at him incredulously, but shakes her head. “No – just. Where did you even get to stay for long enough on land?” she asks. “How are you going to come  _with_  me and the rest of the herd?” 

 

Jonas takes a deep, shaky breath.  

 

“I... I’m not coming with you.” 

 

“ _What?_ Jonas, this isn’t funny,” Sid says. 

 

“I – this human found me and –“ 

 

“ _Human?_ ” Sidney’s eyes widen, and Jonas interrupts her before she can protest. 

 

“Yes! A human, a man, and he saved me. Sid, he let me stay with him and he’s even offering to show me the human world!” Jonas says. 

 

Sidney’s eyebrows draw together worriedly. “Jo, you  _know_  what the humans are like, we can’t trust them.”  

 

“Sid, they’re not all like that! And Mitch – the human – he’s very kind –“ 

 

“No! Jonas, I swear to god, you can’t just  _run off_  with some random stranger – a  _human_  – and leave us, leave _me_  behind!” Sidney says, her voice growing in volume as she clasps Jonas’ hands tighter in hers. She's tugging slightly on his hands, as if it could make him stay. 

 

“I’m not running off with some stranger! I’ve spent time with him while I was still injured, and he – he’s a friend. He’s my friend, and he helped me to come here.” 

 

Sidney still looks unconvinced, so Jonas says, “You could come with me! We can see land and explore all the places we’ve heard about –“ 

 

“No, Jonas.” 

 

Jonas stops short at the hard, hushed tone of her voice. “Sid...” 

 

“You know I can’t leave the herd, Jo. Not for a whole winter.”  

 

He’s silent, heart torn between his sister and the new, exciting world waiting for him on shore. 

 

“I want to meet him.” 

 

“What? Seriously?” Jonas asks, surprised. 

 

Sidney sighs heavily. “I can’t stop you, I know that, Jo. I know you’re not gonna be happy staying with Dean for the rest of winter. But if you’re gonna go run off with some  _guy_ –“ 

 

“I am not  _running off_  with some –“ 

 

“C’mon, Jojo. Take me to  _Mitch_ ,” she says, and Jonas snorts.  

 

She grins back at him, and Jonas knows that they’re okay. 

 

* * *

 

Mitch almost dozes off, the warmth of his jacket against the cold breez making him drowsy.  

 

He spots Jonas’ curly hair and shoots back up, shaking the pins and needles out of his numbed legs. Jonas waves at him, and Mitch walks over, wading into the frigid waters without hesitation. 

 

He’s about to say something, but he falls silent when he sees a copy of Jonas, a copy with longer, curlier hair and a hard, cautiously suspicious face. She’s looking up at him from the shallow water, her tail swishing agitatedly behind her. She glances at Jonas and back at Mitch, her lips pursing in a disapproving way. Mitch narrows his eyes. She says something to Jonas, but he can’t understand the lilting, clicking language of her words.  

 

Jonas says something back, sheepish. Mitch is just about to literally ask Jonas’ twin if she has a  _fucking_ _problem_  when Jonas says, “Mitch, this is Sidney. My sister. Sidney, Mitch.” Jonas smiles up at Mitch, and he relaxes. 

 

Sidney glares at him, and asks suddenly, “I need to know where exactly you’re planning to take my little brother.”  

 

Jonas protests, “I’m not your little –“ 

 

“I need to know if you are going to keep him safe,” Sidney says, her unflinching, steely green eyes locked onto Mitch’s face.  

 

Mitch can’t help his lip from curling defensively. “Of course I’ll keep him fuckin’ safe. I’m not a fuckin’ idiot, I ain’t just gonna dump him somewhere.” 

 

“Fine,” she says, “But if you hurt him in any way,” she shoots up and grabs Mitch’s collar, pulling him down to her level, her voice sharp and hissed, _“I will hunt you down and_ _cut_ _both of_ _your hands off.”_   

 

“Sid! Stop it, I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself,” Jonas says. He continues to talk to her in their language, soft and persuasive.  

 

After a few moments, Sidney gives Mitch one final, last glare and lets go of his collar, pushing him slightly as she does so. Mitch glares at her as she turns to Jonas, and they have another conversation, presumably to say goodbye. Mitch can see the way she softens with her brother, and they hug each other tightly before she lets go gently.  

 

She turns to Mitch again, and nods at him. "Goodbye," she says, and Mitch nods back at her in response. She and Jonas share one last hug, a few more whispered words, and she turns and disappears into the depths once more.  

 

Jonas is silent, staring at the waves moving over where his sister was.  

 

"Jonas..." Mitch says. He feels awkward, standing there, and the initial excitement of having Jonas with him has worn off into a giddy sort of apprehension. 

 

Jonas takes a deep, shuddering breath and looks back at Mitch, and he's surprised at the wetness of Jonas' eyes. Before he can say anything, an apology maybe, Jonas says, "Let's just go back." 

 

Mitch nods silently, and they make their way out of the cove. 

 

* * *

 

Mitch opens the door, lets Jonas in first. He closes the door, and they stand awkwardly together in the middle of Mitch's apartment. Jonas smiles at him shyly. He's about to say something when Buddy scurries out noisily from under the bed.  

 

"There ya' fuckin' are! I've been lookin' for ya' everywhere, Bud." Mitch lifts the heavy animal, turning to Jonas, who backs away slightly. Mitch bites back a snort at his expression. 

 

"… What is … that." 

 

"My pet. Buddy, you know. Bud, like the weed?" 

 

Jonas looks confused. " … What?"  

 

"Nothin'. Nevermind." 

 

Jonas looks curiously at Buddy. "What kind of animal is he?" 

 

Mitch shrugs. "I dunno. He's pretty cool though. Found him when I was younger." He reaches Buddy out to Jonas. "You wanna' touch him?" 

 

"Um – no, thank you."  

 

Mitch sets him back down and sits on the bed. "Listen, Spots. I've got break comin' up in a few more days, but until then I'll be pretty busy with school and work and shit." 

 

Jonas nods, looking unsure of what he should say. 

 

"Until then... I guess y're just gonna have to stay here while I'm out." Mitch says hastily, "I mean, I don't wanna keep you cooped up in here, it's just, you don't know where anything is so -" 

 

"No! I mean, yes, it is fine. I don't mind staying here. Please don't let me get in the way of your work," Jonas says quickly.  

 

Mitch gives him a rueful smile. "Well, you should probably start makin' yourself at home, then." 

 

* * *

 

When Jonas wakes up for the fifth time in Mitch's bed, he doesn't immediately get up like he usually does. Mitch is probably in class, as he has an  _"8am_ _"_  on Fridays, which he had told Jonas with an overly-dramatic groan. "It's always too fuckin' early for this bullshit," he had said, and when Jonas had giggled, Mitch had grinned back at him.  

 

Jonas sighs and curls into himself, head cloudy with sleep and thoughts of Mitch. 

 

He sighs again, and gets up from the warm comfort of the bed and to the bathroom, then puts on some of Mitch's old clothes. Before he ambles back to the bed, he catches sight of the photo frame that Mitch has on his bedside table. It's a picture of him and his family. His mother, and his brother Freddie, and a faceless man who Mitch had torn out. Jonas traces over Mitch's face, and remembers the tremble in his voice when he had talked about Freddie.  

 

He's snapped out of his reverie when the door suddenly slams open.  

 

He watches as Mitch unceremoniously tosses his backpack across the room to hit the wall with a  _thump_. Jonas cringes inwardly as he thinks of the heavy textbooks in there, but before he can say something, Mitch greets him and then proceeds to dump himself onto the bed and making Jonas bounce up slightly.  

 

"God, I fuckin' hate school," he groans. Jonas makes a sound of sympathy in response. "So whaddya wanna do now, Spots? I'm finally fuckin' free for a while," he asks, turning over and crossing his arms behind his head.  

 

Jonas shrugs, picking at a stray thread in the blanket. "Oh, I don't know. Anywhere that you want to go," he offers, face burning slightly at the focus of Mitch's stare on him. 

 

Mitch grunts. "What about... the theme park?" Mitch asks, looking back up at the ceiling.  

 

Jonas cocks his head to the side, curious. "Theme... park?" 

 

"You don't know what a theme park is?" Mitch asks, turning back to face Jonas and rising up on an elbow. Jonas shakes his head, and Mitch's face slowly splits into a grin.  

 

"We're gonna have to fuckin' change that, Spots." Suddenly, he jumps up. "C'mon, put on a jacket or somethin'. Let's go." 

 

"Wait,  _now?"_  

 

"Why not?" 

 

Jonas shakes his head. "I mean, are – are you not tired?" 

 

Mitch shrugs. "Nah. Anyway, you must be goin' crazy in this tiny shithole." He pulls a hoodie out of the pile of clothes he has beside his closet and tosses it to Jonas. Jonas tries to be discreet about sniffing it, but thankfully, it only smells faintly of sweat and smoke.  

 

Mitch opens the door, and Jonas steps out, breathing in the coldness of the air and relishing in how fresh and clear the air feels against his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres a little transitionary chapter
> 
> god so sorry for the late update ive been rlly busy w work n shit
> 
> i luv u guys thanks for reading, leaaave a kudos n comment if u liked it!!!!!!!


	5. My Type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take a look around the room  
> Love comes wearing disguises  
> How to go about and choose  
> Break it down by shapes and sizes 
> 
> \- My Type by Saint Motel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys go around town. Also, Joey meets Mitch's crazy friends.

The cotton candy is sticky against his hands despite his efforts to keep them off his bare skin. Some more flyaway cotton melts slowly into the warmth of his hands, so he offers the rest of the candy back to Jonas, who accepts it happily. 

 

Mitch sighs and lets his head loll back, looking up into the cloudy sky. He squints as the sun comes back into view and jerks his head back up. "This is the most boring fuckin' ride I've ever fuckin' been on." 

 

Jonas snorts. "I think it is nice. The view is amazing. I have never been this high up before." 

 

Mitch shrugs, choosing to not give himself vertigo by keeping his eyes up. And on Jonas. Their car is coming up to the top of the wheel, moving achingly slow and it makes him feel as if he’s swimming through honey.  

 

Jonas suddenly grips his arm, and Mitch raises his eyebrows. He's looking down, his eyes comically wide.  

 

Mitch barks out a laugh, as if he's in any position to do so. "You fuckin' scared, Spots?" he sneers, and laughs even harder at Joey's glare. He looks about as menacing as a puppy. He mutters something under his breath, and Mitch leans closer, caging Joey against the side of the car with his arms. “What was that, Joey? I didn’t catch that,” he says, pushing himself into Jonas’ personal space. Jonas smells like the fresh, salty foam of the ocean and something vaguely like vanilla, and Mitch can’t help but breathe it in. 

 

Mitch grins at Jonas’ embarrassed blush, and he gets a small hand in his face in return, pushing him away gently.  

 

They come to the bottom of the ferris wheel. “What should we do now, Mitch?” Joey asks. 

 

Mitch hums contemplatively. “I’m pretty beat. You wanna’ just, like, go play a game or somethin’?” 

 

“Mmm. That sounds like fun,” Jonas says. “But can we get some water first?” 

 

They get another glass of water from a cafe, and sit on a bench outside. Jonas hates plastic water bottles, and Mitch agrees. They sit together silently, watching people bustle around the theme park, hearing the screams of varying degrees of fear and fun accompanying the people on the rollercoasters. Jonas sips on his water, clutching the glass like it’ll suddenly drop out of his hands.  

 

“Is Atlantis real?” 

 

“What?”  

 

“Atlantis. City sunk in the ocean, or whatever.” 

 

Jonas makes a face. “I don’t think I know where that is.” 

 

Mitch shrugs. “Whatever.” He closes his eyes and tips his head back against the concrete of the wall outside the cafe, shoving his hands in his pockets. It’s fucking cold.  

 

If he’s feeling cold, Jonas must be frozen. He peeks an eye open to look at him, but Jonas seems pretty content, gulping down his water and watching everyone with wide eyes. Mitch closes his eyes again. 

 

And then he hears the most dreaded sound that he could hear, right in this fucking moment, when he’s enjoying his sweet fucking time with a cute boy-but-previously-mermaid in a fucking theme park.  

 

“ _Mitch!”_  

 

Mitch opens his eyes just as Scratch almost pounces on him. “Get off me, you fucking gremlin. For  _fuck’s_ sake.” 

 

Javier snorts at them, and pulls her off of Mitch by the collar of her top. “Hey man.” 

 

“Hey,” Mitch grunts. He waits for the inevitable embarrassment. 

 

“Ooh Mitch, who is this cutie?!”  

 

There it is. Scratch is shrieking,  _loudly_ , and Mitch feels nauseous. He glances at Jonas, who looks mildly terrified, but is making an effort to smile politely at Scratch anyway.  

 

“This is Jonas. Jonas, these fucking freaks are my friends. Scratch an’ Javier.” 

 

“Hi, Jonas!” Scratch shouts. Jonas looks slightly pale. He stumbles over a hello. 

 

“So where’d you come from, lil’ bro?” Javier asks.  

 

There’s a silence. “DC,” Mitch says quickly. “Family friend.”  

 

“Family friend?” Javier repeats, squinting, and even Scratch looks mildly suspicious. 

 

“Yeah. Friend of my mom. Her son. They just moved to Sellwood,” Mitch lies.  

 

Javier just shrugs finally, and Scratch focuses her attention back to Jonas, who leans back, still clutching his glass of water. She barrages him with questions, _weird_ ones, and Mitch wants to dropkick her off a cliff. 

 

Javier looks at them amusedly, and Mitch sighs. “Why’re you fucks here anyway?” 

 

Javier shrugs. “We were bored. I think Cliff is stuck on a rollercoaster somewhere.” Javier lowers his voice suddenly, and Mitch leans in.  

 

“Is this Jonas  _actually_  a family friend?” 

 

Mitch frowns at him. “Yeah. I found – I met him in middle school. Then they moved out of Sellwood. Just came back.” 

 

Javier at least looks somewhat satisfied with that. Mitch breathes an internal sigh of relief. 

 

“Wait. Was this the guy you were havin’ that date with last time?” 

 

“ _No_. Who fuckin’ told you that, it wasn’t a  _date._ ” Mitch can’t help the rising blush, and Javier raises his eyebrows. When Mitch glares at him, he raises his hands up, laughing. 

 

Mitch turns back to Jonas. “Scratch, will ya’ fuckin’ lay off him.” 

 

Scratch makes a face at Mitch, but backs off anyway. Jonas smiles gratefully at Mitch. 

 

“Hey,” Javier says, “Let’s go get lunch.” 

 

Mitch wants to protest. He’ll never admit it, but he doesn’t want to share Jonas right now. But he looks at Jonas, and his friends, and agrees begrudgingly. 

 

* * *

 

Jonas feels drained, mentally exhausted from the theme park and Mitch’s friends. Javier is terribly kind, despite his alarming face markings, and Scratch is jittery and weird, but strangely enough Jonas doesn’t mind her. Cliff was silent and brooding during the entirety of the time, and Jonas is slightly scared of him. His fear is partially fuelled by the fact that Cliff doesn’t seem to have any visible eyes other than the thick layer of blond hair covering half his face. At this point he’s also too afraid to ask Mitch about it. 

 

Jonas immediately falls face first into Mitch’s bed. So soft, so good. He hears Mitch snort behind him, and elects to ignore him. He feels himself bounce up slightly as Mitch sits heavily on the other end of the bed.  

 

“My legs hurt,” Jonas mumbles into the pillow.  

 

“Oh. Shit,” Mitch says. “Uh, you okay?” 

 

Jonas nods, face still in the pillow. “May I take a nap?” he asks, lifting his head to look at Mitch. 

 

“Yeah, ‘course. Go ahead. Y - you don’t have to ask me.” 

 

Jonas nods sleepily. The bed is soft, and the blankets are calling for him. His eyes slip closed, taking in Mitch’s last crooked smile before he falls asleep. 

 

Mitch watches as Jonas’ breathing slows down and his limbs relax into the sheets.  

 

He looks at Jonas’ soft features, his cheek squished into the pillow. His creepy staring is interrupted by his phone ringing, which is probably for the best. Mitch jumps, hissing curses as he looks around for it. 

 

He finds it in his pocket. It’s his mom.  

 

“Shit,” he hisses, fumbling to quickly answer it before Jonas wakes up.  

 

“Hey ma.” 

 

“Hi sweetie!” His mom’s voice rings out of the phone, and Mitch can’t help but smile at the sound of her voice. 

 

“How’s ya’ trip goin’?” Mitch asks, sitting down on his desk chair. 

 

“Oh, it’s amazing! Ya’ know...” His mom launches into a story, and Mitch smiles even wider. She sounds so happy, and Mitch is glad.  

 

“Hey, Mitchy, you okay?” his mom suddenly asks.  

 

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” 

 

“No, it’s just, why’re you talkin’ so quiet for? Are you okay?” She sounds concerned and Mitch curses internally. 

 

“Uh – well.” Shit. There’s no point in trying to hide shit from his mom. He sighs, and tries to cover himself. “Uh, listen, Ma. I’ve just got a friend over right now. He’s – uh – takin’ a nap.” 

 

“Oh!” She sounds taken aback. “You mean Javier? Or Cliff?” 

 

“No, no. Someone else. He, uh, fuck.” Mitch pinches the bridge of his nose. “He can’t really... go home right now. So he’s stayin’ with me for a while.” 

 

“Ah – okay,” she says, voice going quiet. “Is he alright?”  

 

“Yeah. Yeah, he’s fine.” What he said is true, at least. From what Jonas has told him, Jonas’ stepfather is a dick, and Mitch is glad that Jonas is away from him, at least for a while. He’s also glad that his mom is so fucking understanding, thank god. 

 

“Okay, well, you say hi to him for me alright?” 

 

“Mhm.” 

 

“I gotta’ go now, sweetie. I’ll see you soon! Love you!”  

 

“Okay, love you too, ma,” he replies, and the electronic beeping of his phone replaces his mom’s voice. He puts the phone down on the table. Jonas is still soundly asleep, so Mitch decides to just scroll through his phone until he wakes up. 

 

* * *

  

“How long was I asleep for?” 

 

Mitch shrugs from his side of the bed, not looking up from his phone. “Like, an hour or so.” 

 

Jonas nods, turns over on his back. It’s so cold. He huddles further under the blankets and slides his feet under Mitch’s butt.  

 

“Fuck off, yer feet are fuckin’ cold,” he grumbles, and Jonas laughs softly under the blanket.  

 

“Hey, you wanna’ watch a movie or somethin’?”  

 

“Movie?” 

 

Mitch rolls his eyes. “Yeah, lemme get my laptop.” 

 

They put on the second season of  _Stranger Things_ , but Mitch has to stop it halfway through because Jonas is so scared he starts crying, and then Mitch makes the sensible decision to put on  _Brooklyn 9-9_  instead. 

 

Jonas settles his cheek on Mitch’s shoulder, still sniffling a bit. Mitch shifts and puts his arm around him, and Jonas’ heart starts beating even faster.  _Oh, no._  

 

Before Jonas can fully launch himself into a self-induced anxiety attack of what this sudden increase in heart rate could possibly mean, his stomach starts rumbling. Loudly, embarrassingly. 

 

Mitch ugly laughs. “Y’know what, I’ll order some fuckin’ pizza. Fuckin’ sick of instant noodles.” 

 

Jonas nods in agreement. The pizza arrives half an hour later, and they eat on Mitch’s bed,  _Brooklyn 9-9_ still running on Mitch’s laptop.  

 

“Mitch?” 

 

“Mmhmm.” 

 

“You know, I just realized that I don’t know what your last name is.”  

 

Mitch frowns deeply, and Jonas laughs softly. “It’s Mueller, how have I not told you this before?”  

 

Jonas shrugs. “Mine is Wagner.” 

 

“Mmm. Wait, so is like, yer entire herd just yer family?” 

 

“No, there are other families as well. But we make up the bulk of it, since there are so many foster kids.” 

 

“Oh. Cool.” Mitch finishes off his slice of pizza, and lays back against the pillows. He’s only eaten one. 

 

“Aren’t you going to eat some more?” Jonas asks, and Mitch makes a face. 

 

“Nah. Not hungry.” His voice is cold now, suddenly. Jonas doesn’t push it, even though he knows that Mitch had barely touched his food during lunch with his friends.  

 

Mitch is quiet sometimes, frosty and unyielding to Jonas’ questions whenever they accidentally delve into a topic he obviously hates. Jonas can tell that this is one of them, but he can’t figure out why yet. He swallows nervously, and turns his attention back to the show on Mitch’s laptop, which Mitch himself is fixated on. Jonas takes another slice of pizza.  

 

“I like this show,” Jonas says softly. Mitch hums in agreement, then laughs a little. 

 

“I’m guessing electronics and water don’t go well together, huh.” Mitch looks at Jonas. “Wait, so what do you for entertainment an’ stuff?” 

 

Jonas thinks for a moment. “Oh, we have, um, performing? Performances? We watch that,” he says, “And we have our own kind of books, too, but not paper. Stone. Sidney and I like to explore the coral reefs as well, and we – we sometimes collect human things that have been thrown away or, or accidentally left behind.”  

 

“How do you guys sleep?” 

 

“We sleep on land, when we can.” 

 

“How do you guys fuck?” 

 

Jonas feels his face start to burn, and Mitch’s face grows into that predatory grin that Jonas wants to hate so badly but can’t bring himself to.  

 

“Hey, I’m serious, how do ya’ do –" Jonas slaps a hand on Mitch’s mouth.  

 

“Shut up!” he says, blushing furiously now. Suddenly, he feels something wet touch the palm of his hand, and he quickly snatches it away. “Did you just  _lick_  me?” 

 

Mitch starts laughing so hard he snorts, and he sticks out his tongue again at Jonas and makes gross sounds. Jonas shoves him, pushes a hand to his face again.  

 

“You are disgusting! Stop it,” he yells, but he’s laughing anyway when Mitch pulls his hands from his face and traps them in his bigger hands, long fingers encircling Jonas’ small wrists. Jonas meets Mitch’s amber eyes for a moment too long, and suddenly, he can’t look away. Mitch’s laughter dies down, and Jonas’ heart starts pounding hard enough against his ribcage that he’s sure that Mitch can hear it. Mitch’s eyes flicker to Jonas’ mouth, and he purses his lips shut. He’s seen the way Mitch leans away from the sharpness of his teeth. 

 

Jonas turns away, breaking Mitch’ stare. “Sorry,” he mumbles, and he can feel the awkward tension rise and threaten to drown them. Mitch lets go of his wrists, but Jonas is staring at the bedsheets beside him and he can’t see the expression on Mitch’s face. 

 

“’S nothing,” Mitch says.  

 

Jonas wants to make up for the slight hoarseness of Mitch’s voice, so he just buries his face in Mitch’s shirt and wraps his arms around him. He feels Mitch stiffen, but then relax slightly after a few agonising moments. They stay that way for what feels like an eternity, before Mitch suddenly pitches to the side, almost taking Jonas with him as he picks up one of his shoes where it was at the side of the bed. 

 

Jonas looks at him warily, wonders if Mitch is going to whack Jonas with it for hugging him, before Mitch brings his hand back and throws it across the room and hits the light switch with an alarming crack. The lights switch off and the room is dim save for a lamp. Mitch leans to switch that off too, and the room is left in twilight. 

 

Jonas can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of him, and Mitch grins sheepishly down at him in return.  

 

“You have very good aim.” 

 

“Thanks. I practice a lot,” Mitch says as he tips them back, bringing Jonas to lie on his chest and wrapping his arms around him. 

 

“You are going to break it one day,” Jonas mumbles into Mitch’s shirt.  

 

“I don’t give a shit about the light switch.” 

 

Jonas hums, snuggles further into Mitch’s chest. His heartbeat is still erratic, but there’s an overwhelming sense of calm that engulfs him and he feels so light with happiness that he could practically be floating in Mitch’s arms. Mitch smells like smoke and a barely discernible fragrance, but Jonas realises that doesn’t mind the stale scent of smoke when it’s intermingled with the smell of Mitch’s skin, even if he hates it anywhere else. 

 

They lie there for the rest of the night, breathing each other in, heartbeat to heartbeat. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just. fluff to heal the soul
> 
> pls leave a kudos n comment if u liked!!!!!!!


	6. Neptune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm only honest when it rains  
> An open book with a torn out page  
> And my ink's run out.  
> I want to love you but I don't know how.
> 
> \- Neptune by Sleeping At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitch realizes some things.

Mitch shifts against the bookshelves, the individual shelves digging into his back as he watches Jonas flip through the pages of a book. He’s looking at a children’s book about marine animals, similar to the one Mitch had had when he was younger. Jonas’ dark eyebrows furrow as he stops his moving finger on a word. Mitch sighs and tips forward so his head is touching Jonas’. “Which one is it now, Spots?”

 

“Mmm. This one.”

 

“Biodiversity.” 

 

Jonas looks at him with his big, green eyes. “What does that mean?”

 

Mitch closes his eyes, wracking his brain for something sufficient, but nothing comes to him. He pulls out his phone and googles it, giving Jonas a dictionary definition. Jonas nods, then turns back down to his book, flipping another page.

 

“Mitch, look.”

 

Mitch raises his eyebrows and looks at what seems to be a giant squid splayed across a double-spread of pages.

 

“I have never seen a picture of it! I’ve only heard stories,” Jonas says, thrumming with excitement. Mitch grins back at him, helps him read the descriptions. They check out the book after a while, and Mitch curls his lip at the librarian after she stares at Jonas for a second too long.

 

They stroll through the street, and Mitch is wandering, lazily leading Jonas through Sellwood.

 

“Hey. D’ya wanna go to the cove again?”

 

Jonas looks at him out of the corner of his eye. “... Why?”

 

Mitch shrugs. “Listen, man, it’s winter break and I plan to do jack shit.”

 

Jonas’ mouth twitches upwards at the corners, and they walk to the cove together.

 

They get to the cove and situate themselves against Mitch’s favourite spot, against the cliff face nearest the shoreline. Jonas takes off his shoes and rolls up his pants legs, watching his toes dip and curl into the rough, pebbly sand. Mitch watches as he wades into the cold water, fingers skimming over the gentle waves. Suddenly Mitch’s chest feels light, like it’s going to burst out of his chest; the feeling is gone as soon as it came. He doesn’t know what it means, never felt that particular feeling before, but he knows it’s because of Jonas.

 

So he picks up a small pebble beside himself and throws it into the sea next to Jonas, just close enough to make a splash and wet his hoodie. Jonas flinches at the cold water and turns back to Mitch with an angry pout on his face. Mitch snorts. Jonas turns away from him again, still swishing his hands through the water, and Mitch throws another, heftier pebble and makes an even bigger water stain on Jonas’ hoodie.

 

Jonas turns to yell at him, “Will you stop being such a jerk?”

 

Mitch laughs loudly. “Aw, look at yer lil’ face gettin’ pissed.” He throws another pebble, and Jonas stomps out of the water, pushing his too-long hoodie sleeves up over his elbows. “Oh, shit,” Mitch laughs, raising his hands to half-heartedly ward off Jonas’ soft punches. Jonas pushes closer, leaning his weight on Mitch’s hands as they grip Jonas’ forearms.

 

“Ugh, you are so annoying –“

 

“Shut it, ya’ little nerd –“

 

Jonas finally gets hold of Mitch’s bony nose and pinches it gently between his fingers, and Mitch yelps. His nose has been broken a considerable amount of times before; the pinching doesn’t hurt, just induces a reflex action. Whilst he’s simultaneously trying to get his face away from Joey and also put him in a headlock, his phone rings from inside his pocket. Jonas sits back on Mitch’s thigh, finally letting go of his nose.

 

Mitch fishes his phone out of his pocket, snickering as he manages to plant his hand on Jonas’ face and push it away. Jonas makes a disgusted sound and moves off of him, and Mitch strangely misses the weight and heat of his body on his lap. He shakes the thought off and answers the phone. It’s his mom, calling to say “Hi” again, and that she’s coming back in a few days.

 

“Bye, Ma’. Love you too.” Mitch ends the call and shoves it back in his pocket. Jonas is sitting cross-legged on the sand now, looking up as Mitch ends the call.

 

“What is it?” he asks.

 

“My mom. She’s coming back to Sellwood in a few days.”

 

Jonas nods and goes back to inspecting the smooth, tiny grains of sand.

 

“Hey, listen,” Mitch says, “Do you... maybe wanna’ meet my mom? I mean, she’s probably gonna’ barge in at some point, so ya’ don’t really have a choice.”

 

Jonas laughs softly, nodding. “Sure. That would be nice.” Mitch nods back absentmindedly, laying back against the cliff face.

 

“How much longer do you have until you have to go back?” Mitch asks after a while. Jonas frowns, and Mitch wants to kick himself in the face. Jonas pauses before saying, “Until the end of winter. When it starts getting warmer I will have my tail again.”

 

"So, in few more months, right?" It's not even a question, Mitch knows when winter will end, but he needs to hear it from Jonas himself.

 

"Yes."

 

Jonas' answer is almost lost in the crashing of the waves, but Mitch hears it. They don't have long, and Mitch hates that it's gone from only ' _you_ don't have a lot of time' to ' _we_ don't have a lot of time', hates that Californian winters are so fucking short, hates that he is hit with the sudden realization that the stupid initial infatuation with Jonas has gone from just that to actually falling in love with him.

 

Jonas isn't looking at him anymore. He's looking behind him to the ocean, green eyes squinted against the salty, freezing wind. Mitch watches as he brushes away a dark, curly lock of hair and tucks it behind his ear. Mitch feels so angry at himself, feels the familiar rage and shame inside him rise up and overcome him, so he stands up abruptly and stalks away briskly from Jonas and towards the path up and out of the cove. He hears Jonas scramble out of the sand to follow him.

 

"Mitch?"

 

Mitch walks faster.

 

"Mitch, where are you going?" Jonas asks, his voice slightly out of breath from trying to catch up to Mitch's long legs.

 

"I'm tired. I'm going back home," he says curtly.

 

There's a beat of silence behind him, and a soft " _okay_ ".

 

* * *

 

Mitch is silent, his face impassive as he scrolls through his phone on the other end of the bed. Jonas fidgets. He can feel the tenseness of the air between them, still, even though it's been hours since they left the cove, and it's starting to get dark out. Jonas picks up the picture book, the one with the penguins, and tries to read it.

 

Jonas tries to concentrate on the words, but he can't help but keep trying to think of what he could have possibly done wrong to make Mitch this angry. He can tell that Mitch is trying to hide it, trying to be polite, but Jonas can still make out the irritability. Jonas feels uncomfortably hot and sweaty all over, the anxiety making his head swim.

 

His mind supplies him with a million reasons as to the sudden mood change, but all of them culminate in the possibility that Jonas is overstaying his welcome, that the fact that winter isn't coming sooner is throwing a wrench in Mitch's plans, because now he has to waste even more of his time on sheltering Jonas, who is so goddamned helpless.

 

A small, rational part of his mind protests and asks him to remember all the times that Mitch has been so unconditionally kind to him, and all the friendly teasing, but those protests seem half-hearted and weak in comparison to the loudness of the rest of his thoughts.

 

His jumbled thoughts are interrupted by Mitch saying, "Hey. I – I’m going to bed.”

 

“It’s only 9 o’clock,” Jonas says, his voice slightly hoarse.

 

Mitch shrugs, avoiding Jonas’ eyes, and shuffles over to Jonas. He moves out of the way, letting Mitch climb under the thin blanket. He turns away and curls up the best he can with what little space there is between them on the bed.

 

“You can stay up. I don’t mind the lights,” Mitch says, voice gruff.

 

“No. It’s okay. I – I’ll... go to bed too.”

 

Mitch shrugs again.

 

After a brief moment, Jonas gets up and switches all of the lights off except for the faint lamp on Mitch’s desk. He’s still not used to how dark the room can get. He climbs into bed beside Mitch, but instead of facing away from him, he stares at Mitch’s broad back. The silence is all he hears for a few agonising moments, and then he hears his own voice rise out of the quiet.

 

“Mitch?”

 

Jonas almost thinks that he’s already fallen asleep, before Mitch answers. “Yeah?”

 

“... Did I – did I do something wrong?”

 

He hears Mitch inhale sharply. There’s a pause, but then Mitch says, “No. ‘Course not, Spots.”

 

Jonas nods, just to himself, and turns away from Mitch. He almost falls asleep before he feels the bed dip slightly and the sound of Mitch shifting around. Jonas’ heart skips a beat when he feels Mitch’s breath faintly against the back of his neck.

 

Jonas subconsciously holds his breath for whatever Mitch is about to say, but he doesn't say a word, and the rhythm of Mitch's breathing against his neck remains constant. Jonas falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

Jonas wakes up and Mitch's side of the bed is cold. Jonas' heart thumps painfully, once, and then he spots the sliding door to the tiny balcony ever so slightly ajar behind the curtain, and Mitch's hoodie is gone from its usual spot on his desk chair. Jonas rolls out of the bed and slides the door open as silently as he can.

 

Mitch is leaning on the railing, one hand gripping the rail and the other pinched around a cigarette, the smoke curling in the cold air around him. He's looking straight ahead of him, his face stony and tired. He doesn't turn when Jonas steps out, but jumps when Jonas says his name.

 

"Fucking hell, Joey."

 

"Sorry, sorry," Jonas says, stepping closer to Mitch and gripping the railing. The metal is cold and unforgiving against his hands.

 

"I didn't think you were awake," Mitch says.

 

"I wasn't. I just woke up and saw you outside."

 

Mitch shrugs at that and goes back to looking at the sky, inhaling another breath of smoke. They stay silent for a long moment, Jonas looking ahead at the darkness of the night as well, marred by the town lights.

 

"Do you... usually come out here?" Jonas asks hesitantly.

 

"What?'

 

"I mean, I have seen you wake up in the middle of night many times," Jonas says softly, "You don't seem to get enough sleep."

 

He sees Mitch's jaw tighten, loosen, and he wonders if he's crossed a line somewhere.

 

"Yeah, I – I don't sleep well. Usually I just come out here," Mitch says. Jonas nods, looking down at his feet, unsure of what he should say. He shivers in the cold night air, wrapping himself up in his own arms.

 

"You cold?"

 

Jonas nods, and before he can tell Mitch that he'll just go back inside, Mitch flicks away his cigarette and takes off his flannel hoodie, wrapping it around Jonas' shoulders. Jonas looks up at him in surprise, but Mitch refuses to meet his eyes, and Jonas can see the slight blush rising on his pale skin.

 

"Aren't you cold?" Jonas asks, pushing his arms through the hoodie. The arms are too long, flopping over Jonas small hands.

 

Mitch shrugs. "Nah. I'm okay," he says, crossing his bare arms over his body. Jonas can't help the tiny smile that tugs at his mouth as he wraps the hoodie tighter around himself, revelling in left-over warmth of Mitch's body. He shuffles closer to Mitch, who is back to looking at the horizon, and carefully leans his head on Mitch's shoulder. He feels Mitch lean his weight ever so slightly on Jonas in return, and they watch the night sky together.

 

* * *

 

The jacket still smells subtly like Jonas, a clean, soft scent lingering on the red fabric even over the seemingly ever-present scent of cigarettes and sweat. He squeezes the hoodie between his fingers and gives in to the urge in his head telling him to bury his face in it. He breathes it in and suddenly wishes that he could just inhale the smell of his skin on Jonas himself, wishes so badly that his chest aches. Immediately after the thought enters his mind his face starts to burn with shame and embarrassment, because he needs to stop being such a fucking _creep_ , for fuck's sake.

 

Jonas comes out of the bathroom, and Mitch quickly throws the hoodie behind him. Jonas towels off his wet hair and sits beside Mitch, giving him a smile that makes Mitch’s face burn.

 

“You ready, Spots?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

Mitch picks up his hoodie again whilst Jonas pulls on another one of Mitch’s, and Mitch sincerely hopes that Henrietta doesn’t notice that Jonas is wearing his clothes. They leave the apartment and begin the short walk to the trailer park where his mom and his aunt live together, in the old trailer that Mitch moved out of a few years ago so that they would have more space.

 

Mitch feels uncharacteristically nervous, even though he knows that there’s no way that Henrietta could _not_ like Jonas. Maybe he’s nervous because it feels like he’s taking his boyfriend to meet his family for the first time. The thought makes his throat constrict, because Jonas is leaving in a few months, leaving for a year and even then he doesn’t know if Jonas will even want to come back. But especially because he _knows_ that there’s no way that Jonas could possibly reciprocate Mitch’s feelings, because Mitch is... Mitch. And Jonas doesn’t deserve the burden of Mitch’s stupid feelings, the feelings of someone Jonas couldn’t possibly ever be attracted to.

 

For now, he’ll enjoy having Jonas with him as long as he can, enjoy the warm feeling of happiness whenever Jonas decides to lean his head on Mitch’s shoulder or grasp his soft fingers over his forearm.

 

They continue making their way to the trailer, and Jonas walks closer to him, huddled against the cold breeze. Mitch wraps an arm around his shoulders, and Jonas looks up and gives him a grateful smile. Mitch savours it the whole way they walk, together into the familiar trailer park.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey its been a while,,, life has been busy
> 
> anyway hope u liked this chapter 
> 
> as always thanks so much to smokeplanet for creating these lovely characters and sharing them
> 
> thanks for reading!!!!!!!!


	7. Scary Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your love is scaring me  
> No one has ever cared for me  
> As much as you do,  
> Yeah, I need you here 
> 
> \- Scary Love by The Neighbourhood

Jonas feels actual tears leaking out of his eyes as Henrietta finishes up another hilariously  _embarrassing_  story of toddler Mitch and dimes stuck up toddler noses. His laughter gets louder when Mitch buries his burning red face in his hands and groans loudly.  

 

“Ma,  _enough_ , for fuck’s sake.” 

 

Henrietta snorts and waves her hand at him flippantly, turning to Jonas slightly and giving him a secret eye-roll. He giggles, and Mitch takes his face out of his hands, his face betraying him to give Jonas a soft, small smile. Jonas feels warm. 

 

After a few more stories and general conversation, the time to leave comes, but Henrietta holds them back to unexpectedly hug Jonas tightly. Jonas hugs her back, enjoying the cosy feeling of home in the messy, cramped trailer. Much to his surprise, she says softly to him, "I'm so glad yer here, honey," and he pulls back, not understanding. Just as he's about to ask her, Mitch calls out to him from outside the trailer, and Henrietta shoos him away. 

 

They say goodbye and leave the trailer; Jonas turns back one more time to wave at Henrietta, who waves back enthusiastically.  

 

“I think I might have to dump you back in the ocean,” Mitch says suddenly as they walk back.  

 

Jonas’ heart seems to stop in his chest momentarily as he processes Mitch’s words. He swallows, mouth suddenly dry. “...Why?” 

 

Mitch sighs. “ _Because_ , I think my mom just might replace me with you as her only son. She likes you  _way_ too much.” 

 

Jonas’ brows furrow, and he finally looks at Mitch. He’s grinning, obviously trying to hide it. It clicks. Jonas shoves him lightly, rolling his eyes. 

 

“Jerk," Jonas mutters, and Mitch can’t help his braying laughter. 

 

“Oh my  _god._ The look on your face,” Mitch snorts, but he suddenly stops, his face turning concerned. 

 

Jonas turns around to face him. “What?” 

 

“You didn’t actually think I was gonna’ fuckin’ like... suddenly dump you somewhere, did ya’?”  

 

Jonas purses his lips.  _Of course not_ , his mind supplies him. “...No.” 

 

Mitch’s face tells Jonas that he doesn’t believe him, and a shadow of hurt plays across his face. “I wouldn’t fuckin’ do that to you, Spots.” 

 

“I know!” Jonas says quickly. “Of course not,” he mumbles, looking at the ground.  

 

“I’d miss you too fuckin’ much,” Mitch says, and Jonas looks up to meet his crooked smile. He grins back, reaching out to squeeze Mitch’s arm.  

 

“I would miss you too, Mitch,” Jonas says. “You’re my best friend,” he adds, the words coming out without thought.  

 

Mitch seems to freeze again, his eyes going wide. Jonas’ cheeks start to burn in the silence, because that was such a stupid, cheesy thing to say.

 

Suddenly, Mitch takes his hands out of his pockets to take Jonas’ face in his hands, the rough skin of his palms pressing gently into his skin. Mitch leans in and kisses Jonas; his lips are chapped and warm and taste like smoke. 

 

Jonas’ first instinct is to back away from Mitch, break the kiss, and that’s what he does. He stares up at Mitch in shock, lips burning. He reaches up to touch them, just as Mitch snatches his hands off of Jonas’ face. Jonas hates the expression on Mitch’s face, how he looks so clearly scared and vulnerable and hurt. 

 

“Fuck, Jonas, I – I’m fuckin’ sorry, I shouldn’t have done that –“ Mitch interrupts himself to turn around and start walking in the opposite direction. Jonas watches him walk away for a few moments, shell-shocked.  

 

Finally, he breaks out of it, running to Mitch and catching his hand. 

 

Mitch stops to face him again, his expression even more pained, saying, “No, Spots, it’s okay –“ His following words are muffled by Jonas’ mouth on his, Jonas’ hand curling into his shirt to pull him down and the other still squeezing his hand. Jonas rises up on his tiptoes to reach his lips better, and Mitch wraps his arms around him. One of his hands reach up to stroke through Jonas’ hair, and Jonas shudders at the feeling. Mitch is warm and solid against him, and he feels like home. 

 

They finally part for a breath of air. Mitch presses his forehead against Jonas’, their breath intermingling between them. Jonas grins, kissing Mitch’s scruffy cheek.  

 

“Let’s go back,” Mitch says, voice whispered. Jonas nods, squeezing his hand again.  

 

By the time they get to the apartment, Jonas’ hand is still clutched in Mitch’s. Standing in front of the bed, they pause, and Jonas sucks in a breath. He looks at Mitch, whose mouth upturns into a sheepish grin. Jonas tiptoes and kisses Mitch clumsily. Mitch returns the kiss, lacing his other hand in Jonas'. He suddenly tips sideways, pulling Jonas with him and awkwardly breaking the kiss. Jonas laughs and Mitch muffles his laughter with his mouth, and he stops laughing as the kiss deepens.  

 

He feels Mitch's warm hand finds its way under his hoodie and his shirt, his breath escaping in a gasp as Mitch strokes the burning skin. Jonas panics, gripping Mitch's wrist and pulling it back out from under the fabric, his other hand planted on Mitch's chest. 

 

"Um – I, I can't - " he stutters, but Mitch interrupts him. 

 

"It's okay." 

 

Jonas slowly relaxes, staring into Mitch's amber eyes for a few moments before sitting up and pulling his hoodie off. Mitch does the same, shedding his jeans as well. Mitch pulls up the covers so Jonas can slide under it, pulling the covers over himself as well. Jonas tugs it up to his chin, smiling at Mitch. He smiles back and turns to switch off the lamplight.  

 

Jonas can only barely see the outline of Mitch's face in the faint streetlight emanating from through the curtains, but it only heightens the gentle feeling of Mitch's fingertips stroking his spine through the thin fabric of his shirt. 

 

"I did not know that you liked me," Jonas says softly.  

 

"I didn't know you liked me either," Mitch says. "I never imagined -" he cuts himself off.  

 

"You never imagined what?" Jonas asks. 

 

“That you – you’d like ...me.” 

 

Jonas processes what Mitch just said, the words looping in his head.  

 

He takes Mitch’s face in his hands and kisses his nose, feeling Mitch’s smile against his own face. “Well, I - I  _do_  like you.” 

 

Mitch pulls him closer, and Jonas falls asleep like that, enclosed in his arms. 

 

* * *

 

Mitch sighs as he opens the door to his apartment, rolling his shoulders, sore from hunching over a desk all day. He spots Jonas flipping through his book, a thicker one with significantly less pictures than usual, his dark brows furrowed in concentration. Embarrassingly, Mitch can't help the probably goofy grin that spreads across his face as Jonas looks up, smiling sweetly at him. Jonas stands, and does that thing where he anchors his hands on Mitch's biceps and tiptoes to kiss his cheek and makes Mitch feel as if he's about to internally combust with happiness.  

 

"Hey, I made some food for you." 

 

Mitch raises his eyebrows as he takes off his jacket. "You did? What did ya' make?" 

 

Jonas takes his arm and leads him into the tiny kitchen area, where two bowls of pasta sit on the small, square folding table, and Mitch's stomach drops. He must be making a face, because Jonas lets go of his arm. 

 

"What is it?" Jonas asks, concerned. 

 

"Nothing!" Mitch replies quickly. "It looks great. I just ...can't believe you made this." 

 

Thankfully, Jonas beams up at him. "Yeah, I borrowed a cookbook from the library. It was pretty hard trying to figure out what everything was," he says, sitting in one of the chairs. Mitch follows suit. 

 

Jonas seems intent on asking him about his day, so Mitch uses that as an excuse to take as little bites as possible, the guilt eating away at him whilst Jonas smiles at him from across the table.  

 

The conversation dies down, and Jonas seems to notice how relatively full Mitch's bowl still is, his face dropping. Mitch curses himself silently when Jonas looks back up at him.  

 

"Do you not like it?" 

 

Mitch shakes his head immediately. "No, no, it's – it's great," he says. "I'm just ...not that hungry."  

 

Jonas shrugs. "It's okay, I know I'm not that good at cooking -" 

 

"No, that's not it! I'm really just not that hungry," Mitch says. 

 

"But you didn't eat anything this morning either." 

 

"I got a lot for lunch," Mitch replies defensively, but Jonas' face is disbelieving. He's silent for a moment, looking at Mitch's bowl. 

 

"I never see you eat anything, Mitch," Jonas says softly, and Mitch bristles. 

 

"I ate some of this." 

 

"But it's so little, Mitch. You know you can tell me -" 

 

"It's none of your  _fucking business_ , Jonas," Mitch snarls, and regrets it immediately when Jonas snaps his mouth shut and his face pinches. Jonas stands abruptly, the screech of his chair as it scrapes across the tiles deafening in the silence.  

 

"I'm – I'm going outside," he says, and Mitch can hear the slightest tremble in his voice. 

 

“Joey, wait –“ Mitch manages to grab Jonas’ arm, and Jonas stops, even though he’s still tugging against Mitch’s grasp.  

 

“I’m sorry,” Mitch says, and Jonas doesn’t reply, just looks down between them. “I’m just ... not good at fuckin’ – talkin’ about this shit,” he continues.  

 

“I can tell,” Jonas says. 

 

Mitch swallows. “It’s hard – this, this is hard for me,” Mitch tries to explain. 

 

Jonas sighs, but he looks up at Mitch and says, “I know. It’s okay, Mitch.” He smiles slightly. "I want to help you, Mitch.:

 

Mitch feels the lump in his throat grow as he looks at Jonas' sweet face, and nods, leaning in to kiss Jonas. 

 

* * *

 

"What's the deal with you and that kid?" Javier asks, breathing out a breath of smoke as he does so.  

 

"What kid?" Mitch says as he takes the TV remote to change the channel. 

 

"Jonas." 

 

Mitch shrugs, furrowing his brows at Javier. "There's no deal. And he's not a kid."  

 

Javier scoffs. "Don't act like you haven't been making heart-eyes at him ever since he came to Sellwood." 

 

"The fuck do you mean, you haven't even been around him that many times," Mitch snaps, but he can't help the heat that rises to his face.  

 

"I like him!" Scratch interjects loudly. "You should totally go for him!" 

 

"Shut the fuck up, Scratch," Mitch says. "...Anyway, I  _have_ already – we - ...um." Mitch swallows nervously as Javier, Scratch, and even Cliff look at him expectantly.  

 

Scratch's eyes widen, and she gasps delightedly. "Holy shit! You guys are so fucking cute!" 

 

Javier claps him on the back, grinning, and Mitch glares at him, but he just laughs at Mitch's face. Somehow, Mitch manages to relax, but when he looks at Cliff, the fucker remains impassive except for a frown tugging at his stupid, redneck mouth. 

 

Mitch’s jaw tightens and he stares down Cliff until he looks away, taking another swig at his beer bottle. Mitch finally looks away as well and glances at his phone. It’s almost 3. Probably time to go. 

 

He takes one last swig of beer and stands. “Alright, I gotta’ go,” he says to his friends.  

 

Javier raises an eyebrow at him, teasing. “So soon?  _Really_?” 

 

Mitch scowls and flips him off before saying goodbye and leaving Javier’s dorm room. He exits the building and makes his way to the small cafe around the corner. The smell of sweet, strong coffee hits him as he sees Jonas sitting in the corner of the cafe, gazing out the window with his chin in his hand, the other wrapped around a small mug. Another mug sits across from him, still steaming. 

 

Mitch almost stays in the same spot in front of the door, staring at Jonas, until he turns around to see Mitch, standing there probably looking like a damn idiot with his mouth hanging open. Jonas waves, and Mitch finally sets himself in motion to Jonas. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

“Hey,” Mitch says, sliding into a chair. 

 

“I bought you hot chocolate,” Jonas says, pushing the steaming mug towards Mitch, the creamy scent of chocolate hitting him. 

 

“Thanks,” Mitch says, wrapping a hand around it. He nudges Jonas’ feet with his own, and he feels Jonas tangle their legs under the table. The warmth in his chest gets warmer as Jonas rubs his leg against the side of his calf, still smiling at him across the table.  

 

Mitch listens intently as Jonas tells him about the documentary he watched on the library computers, and Jonas laughs as Mitch gripes about how  _stupid_  Cliff is. For a while they sit in tranquil silence, sipping the hot drinks. Jonas takes Mitch’s hand suddenly and squeezes it, and they walk home hand in hand until Mitch wraps an arm around Jonas’ shoulders, enjoying the feeling of Jonas winding an arm around his waist. 

 

In the apartment, they sit on the tattered couch. The laptop sits on Mitch’s lap, playing another episode of a TV show. Jonas is leaned on him, legs tucked on the couch.  

 

“Can you get me a drink from the fridge?” Mitch asks. 

 

Jonas raises an eyebrow at him. “The fridge is right there.”  

 

“It’s further away from me than you.” 

 

Jonas makes an incredulous face at him. “Seriously? We are literally sitting in the same spot.” 

 

Mitch makes a face, pleading with Jonas. “I have the laptop on me.” 

 

“I can take the laptop.” 

 

“Aw, come on, please,  _baby_ ,” Mitch says, a hand sneaking under Jonas’ shirt to rub the soft skin of his side. Mitch’s grin grows as Jonas’ cheeks start to redden, and he frowns at Mitch sternly. He keeps rubbing, taking a moment to squeeze Joey’s mouldable side until he finally stands up and smacks Mitch’s hand away.  

 

“You – You’re gross,” Joey says, and goes to the fridge and coming up with a soda can. He flingsit at Mitch, who barely catches it before it hits his face. He laughs, opening up his arms as Jonas rolls his eyes but climbs into his embrace anyway, settling in. 

 

As the credits roll on the small screen, Mitch feels more than hears Jonas sigh heavily against his chest.  

 

“What’s up, Joey?” 

 

“Nothing.” There’s a long pause. Mitch waits for Jonas to continue. “I just miss my sister.” 

 

“Sidney?” 

 

“Mhm.” 

 

“...Do you want to go back?” 

 

Jonas looks up at him. “You mean, now? I don’t think she’ll be there.” 

 

“Well, no, I mean... Do you really miss it there?” Mitch asks.  _Idiot. Of course he fucking misses it –_  

 

“I miss Sidney. A lot. Maybe not... being in the herd,” Jonas says, looking back at the screen and resting his cheek on Mitch’s chest. “I don’t miss Dean. Or... the other people.” 

 

“People like...?” 

 

Jonas sighs again. “People like  _Neil._  Dean loves him. He probably wishes he had a foster son like Neil rather than like me. He's not - he's not weak like I am.” 

 

“He sounds like a fucking asshole.” 

 

“He was always pushing me around,” Jonas says, and Mitch’s fists clench involuntarily. “Probably because I can’t even do anything about it.”  

 

Mitch’s throat constricts as he hears how fucking  _unhappy_  Jonas sounds when he talks about Neil, and Mitch knows that he hates the asshole.  

 

“If he ever pushes you around again I’ll break his fuckin’ face in.” 

 

Jonas laughs humourlessly. “How will you get to him? He is a mermaid as well.” 

 

Mitch grunts. “I’ll fuckin’ scuba dive down there and drag his ass out.” 

 

Jonas looks up again and smiles, so Mitch counts that as a win. But then he purses his lips and looks away, and Mitch can barely hear the words he says next. 

 

“I want to stay here with you.” 

 

Mitch’s heart skips a beat when he hears it. He takes Joey’s chin in his hand and gently turns his face to look at him. “You can stay here as long as you want.” 

 

“I have to return at some point. I don’t have a choice,” Jonas says quietly. 

 

“We could go somewhere where the winters are really long,” Mitch says, and even the cynical part of him can’t push the hopeful feeling that bubbles through his chest.  

 

“Like where?” 

 

“Like, fuckin’, Alaska or somethin’. Somewhere cold.” 

 

Jonas frowns at him. “Why would you go so far away from here – just for me?” He looks confused, as if he doesn’t realize that Mitch would do anything for him. 

 

“Why not?” Mitch asks.  

 

Jonas stills, his face upturned to meet Mitch’s eyes. He seems to search them, for traces of insincerity or sarcasm, Mitch doesn’t really know. When Jonas doesn’t seem to find anything, he fists his hands in the front of Mitch’s shirt and pulls him down so he can kiss him. 

 

Jonas’ lips are soft and warm and he melts into Mitch when he winds his arms around his soft waist. Mitch gently presses forward until Jonas is on his back on the couch. His breath is coming fast, almost panting as Jonas deepens the kiss, moving his hands to clutch Mitch’s shoulders.  

 

Suddenly, Jonas plants his hands on Mitch’s chest and pushes him away so he can stand up. Mitch is about to ask him what he did wrong, but Jonas takes one of Mitch’s hands and tugs him until he’s standing. Jonas pulls him towards the bed, and Mitch’s heart actually starts pounding. Jonas sits on the bed, and Mitch follows, keeping as close to him as possible.  

 

“I don’t really know how to do this,” he hears Jonas say, his voice small and nervous.  

 

“It’s okay. I – I can help you,” Mitch says, and he presses his forehead to Jonas’ despite the burning blush that reddens his face.  

 

Jonas nods hastily and kisses him again, hard and clumsy, accidentally bumping his nose into Mitch’s. Mitch laughs softly and slows Jonas down, rubbing his back soothingly. He pulls back so he can tug Jonas’ shirt up, and Jonas raises his arms so Mitch can pull it off him. Jonas’ mouth is on his again immediately, making it harder to shed all their clothes, but they manage, even if Mitch does accidentally punch himself in the face trying to pull his own shirt off.  

 

When Jonas laughs, Mitch feels as if everything is going right. He pulls Jonas further up the bed with him, still trying to keep his lips on Jonas’ as long as possible.  

 

The whole experience is awkward and funny and sexy and tender and Mitch is so dizzy with love that whenever Jonas makes a soft sound or his arms tighten around Mitch’s neck, Mitch thinks he’s about to burst with how fucking  _happy_ he is. 

 

Afterwards, when Jonas has passed out in his arms, Mitch keeps staring at his gentle face until he drifts off to sleep himself. He sleeps soundly through the night, tangled in the bedsheets with Jonas in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know nothing about us geography
> 
> happy new year everyone,,,,, thank u sm for reading it means the world to me
> 
> pls leave a kudos or comment if u enjoyed!!!!!!


	8. Lay It On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me in  
> Everything starts at your skin, so new  
> Your love's always finding me out  
> Who am I kidding?  
> If all my defences come down, oh baby  
> Will you lay it all on me now? 
> 
> \- Lay It On Me by Vance Joy

Mitch opens his eyes to see Jonas' face close to his, still soundly asleep. His soft breath fans out against Mitch's face, and Mitch smiles as Jonas twitches in his sleep. Mitch brushes a soft, dark lock of hair from his face and strokes his thumb against the smattering of freckles across his cheek. Jonas’ skin is so soft, and Mitch is hit with last night’s memory of that skin glistening with sweat, salty as Mitch licked the taste up his neck to his jaw.  

 

Mitch wants to do it all over again, wants to  _worship_  him again with his hands and tongue and teeth –  

 

Mitch stops his train of thought before he has to excuse himself to the bathroom whilst Joey is still asleep.  

 

It’s still early; the morning light has only just started streaming in, so Mitch closes his eyes again and pulls Jonas in closer. His breath slows, peaceful and untroubled – 

 

Mitch’s phone alarm blares, sudden and incredibly deafening in the now-interrupted quiet. Mitch's heart jumps with the shock and he sits up immediately, flailing wildly for his phone. It's not on his side of the bed, so he reaches across Jonas, who's blearily blinking his eyes open.  

 

"Shit, fuck, sorry Joey-" 

 

Mitch finally manages to switch off the godforsaken blearing of the alarm and sinks back into the sheets. 

 

"Fuck, sorry," he says again, "Go back to sleep, it's okay." 

 

Jonas makes a soft sound of dissatisfaction and buries his face in Mitch's bare chest. “Do you have to go somewhere?" he mumbles, voice muffled.  

 

"Nah, I just forgot to switch off the fuckin' alarm." 

 

Jonas nods, nuzzling Mitch’s neck, and promptly closes his eyes again. “Let’s watch a movie today?” he says, his words slurred with sleep. 

 

Mitch kisses his curls. “Yeah, that sounds great,” he says. “Oh, shit, I’ve never taken you to the cinema.” 

 

Jonas raises his head. “The what?”  

 

“I’ll take you today. I can’t believe I haven’t taken you to the fuckin’ movies. Jesus.” Suddenly, he grins, and nudges Jonas. “We should watch a zombie movie. I think there’s one out now.” 

 

Jonas makes a face, eyes still closed, and groans into Mitch’s neck. “If I die of a heart attack, it’ll be  _your_  job to take my body to my sister.” 

 

Mitch cackles, wrapping his arms around Jonas and pressing kisses to his sleepy face. Jonas groans again, but smiles anyway into his kisses. Jonas falls back asleep, but Mitch stays awake, still star-fished around Jonas’ small form. 

 

* * *

 

Jonas sighs heavily as they exit the movie theatre. Mitch snorts.  

 

“What, didn’t like the movie, Joey?” 

 

Jonas tries to give him the sternest glare he can, but Mitch just laughs at him.  

 

As they walk out, Jonas takes Mitch’s hand in his and Mitch smiles down at him in return. Jonas looks up, about to ask him a question, before he catches the eye of a man across from them. His harsh face leers at Jonas, mirroring the expressions of the two other men around him. Jonas swallows nervously as the man’s eyes clearly travel to his and Mitch’s intertwined hands, his face twisting even further into an ugly sneer. The man nudges his companion, gesturing obviously towards Jonas and Mitch. Although he can’t exactly hear them, it’s obvious when they snigger, and Jonas’ throat catches, his body stiffening with discomfort. He looks away, unconsciously pressing himself closer to Mitch, and the laughter behind him grows. 

 

Just as he’s about to pull Mitch into walking away faster, Mitch dislodges his hand from his, his arm immediately wrapping around his shoulders. Jonas looks up, questioning, and Mitch says, “Are you okay?” 

 

Jonas nods, somehow unable to force out words. Mitch lowers his face to Jonas and says, “Fuckin’ ignore them. This town is full of small-minded assholes.” His voice is low and comforting, and Jonas can’t help himself when he leans into him as they walk. Mitch squeezes his shoulders once and presses a kiss to his forehead; Jonas casts a grateful smile up at him. Jonas feels utterly safe and soft-edged with Mitch, and he can’t remember ever feeling so secure in his life. 

 

* * *

 

Mitch glares at the equations on his textbook, the numbers swimming and intertwining together frustratingly in front of his tired eyes. He groans, rubbing his eyes. The numbers swim even more dizzyingly after that, so he pushes himself away from his desk and crawls into bed. 

 

“I don’t want to fucking study”, he whines childishly, lying down and pressing his face into Jonas’ soft stomach. Jonas strokes his hair in response, and Mitch is grateful that Jonas doesn’t mention how disgustingly greasy his hair must feel against his fingertips. Jonas hums and puts down his book, sliding down so that he's lying down next to Mitch. Mitch sighs in satisfaction as he feels Joey’s soft breath on his lips, soon followed by his pliable mouth. Before Mitch can turn the chasteness of the kiss into something more, Jonas sits up again and tugs at Mitch’s hand.  

 

Mitch groans again, but even so, he loves that Jonas is the one to pull him up and force him to study, loves that Jonas lets Mitch pull him onto his lap after he reluctantly slides into his desk chair again, loves that he settles an arm around Mitch’s shoulders and peers at Mitch’s textbook curiously. Joey huffs after a moment and turns to press his cheek against Mitch’s forehead. Then he takes Mitch’s hand and forces it closed around a pen, and Mitch pinches him in response with his other hand.  

 

“You have to study.” 

 

“ _Fuck_  you.” 

 

Jonas rolls his eyes and moves off of Mitch, but is pulled back down again with a whiny  _“_ _Sit on me.”_ Jonas resigns himself to his fate on Mitch’s bony lap, and Mitch feels his eyes on his face as he pretends to look at the textbook.  

 

Mitch looks at him out of the corner of his eye, grinning as Jonas blushes. “Like the view there, Joey?”  

 

To his surprise, Jonas nods in response and brushes Mitch’s hair back with his hands. What surprises him more is the tinge of worrying melancholy colouring Joey’s expression as he scrapes his fingers through his hair, and Mitch pulls his hand down to lace his fingers with his. 

 

“What?” Mitch asks, voice softening, the pad of his thumb rubbing soothing circles onto Jonas’ palm. 

 

Jonas doesn’t look him in the eyes, keeping then trained on Mitch’s messy hair. He visibly swallows, and his mouth tugs down harshly at the corners for a fraction of a second.  

 

“I can visit you, right?” Jonas says abruptly, the words coming out so quickly they seem to form a single word.  

 

“What? Visit me when?” Mitch asks, confused. 

 

“When I go – when I go back,” Jonas says, his voice getting quieter with each word.  

 

Mitch freezes, his heart sinking quickly in his chest, and he feels it drop out beneath his feet. His face must reflect what he’s feeling because Jonas starts to squirm out of his grasp, looking stricken.  

 

“No – I mean, yes, of course,  _fuck_  Joey, of course you can fucking visit me –“ 

 

Jonas relaxes fractionally, sitting back down on Mitch’s lap. He holds Mitch’s gaze for a few long moments, before he tucks his head under Mitch’s chin, and Mitch can feel his shaky breath fanning out over the pulse in his neck.  

 

Mitch feels a lump in his throat, but he pushes it down as he tilts Jonas’ chin up so he can kiss his mouth and trail down his neck, as he gently sets Joey off his lap and leads him to the bed, as he presses Jonas into the mattress with his weight, his homework forgotten.  

 

* * *

 

Jonas feels like he’s sinking, his feet being slowly engulfed by the empty feeling in his chest that underlies the pure happiness he feels when he curls his fingers around Mitch’s or when Mitch pulls him in by the waist to kiss him, even when there are other people around. The sinking doesn’t stop, even during those moments, and now it’s getting stronger, the feeling wrapping around his insides and forcing his breath to shorten as the days get warmer.  

 

He tries to ignore it just like Mitch is. 

 

When he thinks about Sidney, he misses her so much that his chest aches with it and the prospect of going back to the sea doesn’t crush him as much. But the thought is always tied to Dean, and the fear of what he would  _do_  to Jonas is icy and piercing, and yet he can’t bring himself to talk about it with Mitch. Whenever he tries to, his vocal chords seem to freeze, and when Mitch asks him what’s wrong, the answer is always  _“nothing”_. 

 

So he keeps his anxiety under the surface, but it’s bubbling underneath, threatening to overflow and engulf him entirely. 

 

Jonas is presently laying on Mitch’s stomach, his head rising and falling with every slow inhale and exhale of Mitch’s breath. Jonas thinks he’s asleep, but he rises up to take a look at Mitch anyway. He’s not asleep, but his eyes are half-closed, eyelids heavy. Mitch raises an eyebrow at him as he sees Jonas. 

 

“What?” he asks, words slurring slightly with sleep. He wraps his long fingers around Jonas’ wrist as he does so, trying to pull him back down.  

 

Jonas purses his lips. He tugs at Mitch’s hand and says, “Let’s go to the cove.” 

 

“What? Now?” 

 

Jonas nods. “I want to see the sunset,” he says, and Mitch looks slightly confused, but he doesn’t object, just stands up with him and grabs his hoodie.  

 

The scent of the salty ocean air hits Jonas just as they reach the tree line. His heart pounds faster as he breathes it in with slow, shuddering breaths. He knows Mitch is staring at him, probably wondering if he’s gone insane, but he ignores it and climbs down the steep path.  

 

The rocks beneath of his feet give out and he slips, but Mitch catches him with an arm around his waist just as he’s about to crash into the sand. He smiles up at Mitch gratefully, and Mitch grins back, and when they reach the ground, Jonas leads him to where they always sit, under the slight overhang of the cliff, just close enough to the waterline that they only have to take a few steps to step into the water. 

 

Mitch flops onto the rough sand with a loud  _“ugh_ _”_ , lacing his hands behind his head.  

 

Jonas lays down next to him, ignoring the cold, roughly granulated sand beneath him, and adjusts his head so that it’s tucked in the crook of Mitch’s neck, using his bicep as a pillow so he can gaze at the horizon. 

 

The silence between them is filled only with the soft crash of the waves on the shore. Jonas hears Mitch’s deep voice break it. 

 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

 

“Mmhmm.” 

 

Jonas feels Mitch rise up slightly and shift them so that his arm is only partially under Jonas and he’s resting on his elbow. He squints. “Are you sure?”  

 

Jonas nods, too quickly. “I’m just tired. And I miss being here.” 

 

Mitch nods slowly, lying back down until they’re in their original positions.  

 

He hears Mitch breathe out noisily through his nose and untuck his arm from under his head so he can wind it around Jonas’ shoulders and pull him closer, until Jonas feels his nose press into Mitch’s cheek. He sighs shakily as Mitch angles his head gently with a large hand and kisses him, soft and slow.  

 

Jonas lets Mitch’s mouth move against his, his heart quickening the way it always does when Mitch initiates a kiss. Mitch moves further over him, rolling Jonas onto his back and Jonas feels his weight rest just slightly on Jonas’ own body. Jonas’ hands come up to curl into Mitch’s hoodie as Mitch cradles his head with a hand.  

 

Jonas feels Mitch’s tongue press against his lips and he gasps, letting Mitch’s tongue invade. He feels it brush against the roof of his mouth, and suddenly he can’t do it anymore. 

 

He gasps sharply and pushes at Mitch’s chest with his hands. Mitch leans back, looking worried and confused. Jonas is breathing heavily, from the kissing and the uncontrollable anxiety in him that almost borders on panic as he takes in Mitch’s features above him. He sees Mitch’s eyes widen, and he realizes that tears are welling in his eyes, blurring his vision and distorting Mitch’s face. 

 

His insides turn as Mitch strokes the side of his face gently and somewhat desperately, his fingers trembling ever so slightly against the skin of Jonas’ cheek as he asks Jonas what’s wrong, what happened, what did he do to make Jonas cry like this.  

 

Jonas remembers when he was younger, barely 18 when Dean had screamed at him and hit him so hard his ears rang, when he had felt so afraid it felt like he was choking on his own heart. He remembers the moments after that, when Sidney held him whilst he cried like a child, her soft, shaky words just a smear of sound in his ears. He remembers thinking that he was everything that Dean had told him he was, weak and pathetic, useless and worthless, someone who could probably never be loved, because Sidney was only here because she was his sister and that’s just what good sisters do. 

 

The worst part was that he never found the strength to refute those accusations, never found the evidence to redeem himself. But that had changed with Mitch, Jonas realizes. It feels like his heart stops when he thinks about how  _loved_  he feels when he’s with Mitch, when he ugly laughs at Jonas’ jokes and when he strokes his hair when they fall asleep. Jonas finally feels  _worthy_ of love that isn’t just that mandatory familial love, and it crushes him that he’s leaving, and that Mitch won’t ever wait for him. 

 

Jonas chokes back a sob as Mitch frantically brushes his hair from his face and kisses his wet cheeks, his forehead, his nose in a desperate bid to get him to stop crying. Jonas squeezes his eyes shut, forcing even more tears out of his eyes, trying to sort out the chaos in his head and Mitch’s worried babbling. “Stop,” he says, and Mitch stops.  

 

Mitch looks at him, eyes filled with worry. “Baby, what’s wrong?”  

 

Jonas hates that Mitch’s voice is so soft and that the pet name still makes his heart ache in the best way. “I can’t do this,” he chokes out, breath coming in short bursts as more tears fall.  

 

Mitch looks like he’s been slapped. “What?” he asks, voice quiet and whispered and scared, and it’s all Jonas’ fault. 

 

“I can’t – I can’t keep doing this,” Jonas sobs, trying to explain but it’s so _, so_ hard. 

 

“Keep doing what?” 

 

“This!” Jonas cries out, voice pitching higher. “I can’t keep pretending like – like everything is going to be fine when it’s  _not!_ ”  

 

“Jonas –“ 

 

“I can’t, I can’t,” Jonas says, chest heaving with the force of his sobs, and it feels like everything he’s been suppressing is bursting. He’s drowning in it, and the only thing he can see as he goes under is Mitch’s face. 

 

“Fuck, Joey, what the fuck is going on –“ Mitch pleads with him, watching as Jonas takes his hands to fist them against his eyes, desperately rubbing them in an effort to stop the tears from falling. Mitch gently pries away his hands from his face, stars shooting across his vision from rubbing them too hard. 

 

He finally manages to  _look_  at Mitch, meet his worried gaze. He tries, but it takes a while for him to regain his voice. “I don’t want to leave,” he whispers hoarsely.  

 

“Joey, fuck, I  _know_ , but it’s gonna be fine –“ 

 

“ _No!_  I’m never going to see you again!” Jonas blurts, his voice pitching higher and louder until he’s almost screaming at Mitch.  

 

Mitch tips himself up and back, sitting on his calves. His face is a mixture of anger and sadness and confusion, and Jonas quickly scrambles away from him until he’s sitting almost foot apart from Mitch. It feels like he’s already miles away. Jonas wraps his arms around his knees and rests his cheek on his arm so that he doesn’t have to look at Mitch. He can’t help the sniffles that leave him as they both sit in silence, and his chest feels tight as the cold wind brushes against him.  

 

Jonas flinches as he feels a hand wrap around his wrist and gently pry his arms away from around his knees. Jonas keeps his head down even as Mitch laces his fingers with his. He feels Mitch’s thumbs move over his knuckles.  

 

“Joey. Joey, what the fuck are you talking about?” Mitch says softly, moving closer until he’s almost wrapped around Jonas, and he leans into Mitch’s warmth despite himself.  

 

“I’m sorry,” Jonas whispers, looking up at Mitch. He sniffles again as Mitch pulls him into his arms and Jonas presses his face into his chest.  

 

“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” Mitch says, and it makes Jonas’ chest swell with how well Mitch knows how he’s feeling, even though he can’t say it himself. “You wanna go for a swim?” 

 

“What?” Jonas asks.  

 

“Let’s just... forget about all this bullshit for a while.” 

 

Jonas stares at him. “But - but you are very bad at swimming. And you’ll freeze, and we are going to get  _your_  clothes wet –" 

 

“Okay,” Mitch says, cutting him off, and he stands up and pulls Jonas up with him. Mitch grins and takes off his shirt and pants, and Jonas blushes but raises his hands and lets Mitch take off his shirt too. He shyly takes off his pants and follows Mitch into the cold water. The setting sun paints the water in pinks and oranges and he wades through the colours with his hand held tightly in Mitch’s. He’s missed this, the feeling of cold water around him, and he sinks deeper into the water. He laughs as Mitch makes a face at him, but he follows him in deeper anyway, until the water is up to their waists.  

 

They swim for a while, laughing as they splash each other wet. Jonas moves closer to Mitch and brushes his damp hair out of his face, giggling as Mitch tries to push it back into its original place. Mitch suddenly pulls Jonas to him with his hands on his waist and a red blush rises to his face as Jonas responds by wrapping his legs around his waist. The water laps at their skin almost up to their shoulders, and Jonas revels in how fresh and cold the water feels in comparison to the burning heat of Mitch’s skin. 

 

Jonas rests his head on Mitch’s shoulder, his arms pulled tight around his neck as he breathes in the faint scent of Mitch’s skin. He closes his eyes, and he feels more than hears Mitch say his name softly. He hums in response, and Mitch uses his hand to tip his head up and look him in the eyes. “Spots... I’m serious. I – I ain’t goin’ anywhere. I’ll be here as long as you’re down there, and I’ll be here when you come back up,” Mitch says, and Jonas feels like crying all over again. 

 

“You can’t let me keep you here,” Jonas whispers.  

 

“Jesus, Joey, yer not keepin’ me here, I  _want_  to be with you –" 

 

“But you said it yourself!” Jonas protests. “You said as soon as you have enough money you’ll leave this town. You hate it here. I know you do,” Jonas says, his throat closing up painfully.  

 

Mitch is silent. Finally, he takes his hands and cradles Jonas’ face, bringing their foreheads together and their noses brushing. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Joey,” Mitch says, and the gentleness of his voice makes tears spill out from Jonas’ eyes, streaking down his face.  

 

“I love you,” Mitch breathes, and Jonas gasps sharply as Mitch presses his mouth to his, the tears falling even as Mitch keeps saying those last three words over and over again into his mouth. It’s not an answer, and it won’t change anything, but the happiness and relief and pure  _joy_  that Jonas feels is  _real_.  

 

“I love you,” Jonas gasps back, kissing Mitch hard as he tries to pour in all of his love and gratitude into that one kiss. Mitch slows him down, stroking his hands across his skin. Jonas can feel Mitch smiling against his face, and he can’t help the teary smile that spreads across his own face.  

 

He pulls back after a while, his breathing heavy. Jonas is about to say the words again, say them again because he can’t seem to say them enough, but Mitch says something before he can. 

 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Mitch says, and his eyes are so earnest and love-struck and adoring that Jonas can’t help the happy sob that escapes him as he wraps his arms even tighter around Mitch and buries his face into the side of his neck.  

 

He cries into Mitch’s skin, his tears ones of happiness now, and he pulls back just to hold Mitch’s face in his hands and pepper it with kisses. They laugh together and stay there in the water until the sun has completely set, still holding each other as close as possible, and Jonas tries to silence the voice inside him that tells him that this won’t last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helo its been a while,, its been busy
> 
> i hope u guys like this chapter, pls leave a kudos n comment if u did
> 
> thank u for reading as always


	9. Electric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darker than the ocean, deeper than the sea  
> You got everything, you got what I need  
> Touch me, you're electric, babe  
> Move me, take me from this place
> 
> \- Electric by Alina Baraz

The blue light of the laptop screen makes Mitch’s eyes ache, the brightness making him squint painfully. Mitch pushes up his reading glasses and rubs hard at his sore eyes. He looks behind him, making sure that Jonas is still asleep. He is, his short arms clutching a pillow with his cheek smushed into the soft fabric. Mitch loses himself in the sight, in how calm and untroubled he looks. It’s strange how accustomed Mitch can get to someone else living in his space, and with Joey, it feels natural to open the door and see him lounging on the bed, or to help him in the tiny kitchen to prepare dinner for the night, or even to just  _hav_ _e_  his presence in the room. Mitch somehow feels like he can’t remember what it was like living alone, and the prospect of going back to that solitude scares him more than he expected it to. 

He tears his gaze away from Joey and looks back at his screen, the long list of apartment costs in Vermont intimidating and endless. As Mitch scrolls further, staring at the countless images of cheap apartment interiors, he gets the familiar feeling that he’s in over his head. He sighs and rests his head in his hands. He has no idea what he’s doing.

One thing he does know, is that he would do anything to make Jonas happy. The fucking depth of his love for Jonas scares him; it’s probably fucking weird to have this much love for a single person, Mitch thinks, but just like so many other things in his life, he can’t fucking control it. If Jonas wanted to drag Mitch to hell, he probably would follow him gladly into the fiery depths if it meant that Mitch got to hold Jonas’ hand as he did so.

Fuck. 

He clicks on one of the apartments. It looks fine, looks like his own. But the bathroom doesn’t seem to have a bathtub, and that might be a problem. Mitch keeps scrolling, trying to ease the ache in his chest. The memory of Jonas crying keeps resurfacing in his mind, and it makes him hurt more than he ever thought possible. It makes him wonder if Jonas will finally realize that this isn’t worth it, that  _Mitch_  isn’t worth all the pain and distress and anxiety. That Mitch can’t be the one to give him what he needs - 

“Mitch?”

Mitch whips around, slamming his laptop shut. Jonas is sitting up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Mitch says, “Studying. I got a test tomorrow.”

Jonas nods, eyelids heavy and closing. “You should sleep. Or you’ll be too tired.” Jonas lays back down and opens up his arms to Mitch. 

Tossing his glasses aside, he can’t help the grin that splits his face as he makes his way to the bed and presses himself into Jonas’ soft body. He giggles softly and laughs out a weak  _“stop”_ when Mitch wraps himself around Jonas’ form and nuzzles his neck. 

“Hey,” Jonas says, pulling back just enough so the dim street light can illuminate the contours of his face. “You should sleep,” he continues, voice soft in the twilight.

Mitch grunts. “You’re no fucking fun, y’know that, Spots?” 

Jonas laughs and pinches him. “You will be thanking me later for that test tomorrow.” 

“Fuck school. Yer a nerd.”

He can see Jonas roll his eyes at him and he snickers, but presses his face into the side of his neck as an apology, kissing the dark skin softly. Jonas’ fingers stroke across the nape of his neck, brushing along the buzzed hair there. Mitch gently winds his arms further around Jonas’s soft middle and entangles their legs further as he moves his hips closer to Jonas’. 

Jonas sighs shakily, the out-breath quivering into Mitch’s ear as he nibbles on the skin of Jonas’ neck. “Okay,” Jonas says breathily. “Maybe one time before we go to sleep.” 

Mitch laughs at that, grinning at his victory, and forgets about the fake test as he kisses at the soft underside of Jonas’s chin. “I love you,” he murmurs, and his heart beats just that much faster when Jonas whispers the words back to him.

* * *

 

Jonas purses his lips as he tries to keep the thin pages of the comic book he’s reading dry, carefully flipping the page over the edge of the bathtub. In the end he gives up and places it on the ground. He sinks into the water, immersing half of his face into the warmth. He closes his eyes, mind slowly blanking as he moves his fingers through the silky water. 

Jonas hears a door open, and opens his eyes as Mitch calls out his name. “I’m in here,” he calls out, smoothing the dark strands of his wet hair out if his face. 

Mitch grins sleazily at him as he steps into the bathroom, looking over the sparse covering of bubbles over the bath water. Jonas blushes, narrowing his eyes at Mitch. “What?” he asks, already wary as Mitch drops himself onto the floor beside the tub. 

“Nothin’,” Mitch says innocently, trailing his fingertips through the bubbles. Jonas pulls his knees up to his chest, and they survey each other for a second, comfortable in the silence. 

“How was your day?” 

Mitch shrugs, leaning in to peck him on the lips. “Yours?”

Jonas shrugs as well. “You should come in here.”

Mitch wrinkles his nose. “I hate baths.”

“Please?” Jonas says, looking up at Mitch with a face that he knows Mitch won’t refuse.

To his success, Mitch grunts and takes off his clothes, stepping into the warm water, grimacing as he sinks in to his chest. He then smiles at Jonas anyway, and he’s so handsome when he does that, Jonas thinks, when he smiles genuinely and not in the creepy, off-putting way he does with other people. 

Mitch wraps his hands around the backs of Jonas’s knees, rubbing across his skin with his thumbs. The bathtub is so small that Jonas’ ankles slide over Mitch’s waist and Mitch’s knees have to bend almost completely to keep his feet below the waterline; Jonas doesn’t mind it anyway, likes that he gets to be so close to Mitch. Jonas watches Mitch close his eyes even as he keeps rubbing soothing circles into Jonas’ skin. Jonas notices that he has violet bags under his eyes, deeper than usual. 

“Mitch?”

He cracks an eye open. “Mm?”

Jonas is silent for a moment, tracing invisible patterns into the clear water. “When should we meet? At the cove?” Mitch’s face drops fractionally, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, and Jonas’ bites his lip nervously.

“When’s the best time for you?”

Jonas shrugs. “I think... It will be best in the evening,” he says. “Dean... probably will not be looking out for me then,” he adds, and Mitch’s tiny frown turns into a grimace for second. Against his better judgement, Jonas says quietly, “I – I can’t be seen with you.”

Mitch’s jaw tightens visibly, and he takes his hands off of Jonas’s knees, bringing them up to cross his chest as if in defence. 

“I’m sorry,” Jonas blurts, the feeling of guilt and shame rising in his chest. He repeats the words again, softer this time, when Mitch doesn’t say anything. 

“It’s not yer fuckin’ fault,” Mitch says after a moment, to Jonas’ surprise. He extends his arms to Jonas, inviting. Jonas hesitates for a moment, just because the tub is so tiny and he doesn’t want to accidentally knee Mitch in the face whilst manoeuvring himself into Mitch’s arms. He settles against Mitch, back to front as Mitch laces his hands with his. Jonas pays attention to the warmth of Mitch’s hands against his, soft and comforting in a way he’s never felt before. He lets the joint rhythm of their breathing soothe his own heartbeat, feeling as of he’s melting into Mitch. 

“We can do this, right?” he asks softly. 

There’s a silence, and the widening gap between words starts to make Jonas nervous again. He feels Mitch’s lips against his hair. “'Course we can,” Mitch says gruffly, voice slightly muffled by Jonas’ curls. “It’s gonna be fine,” he continues, wrapping his arms around Jonas and squeezing gently; Jonas smiles as Mitch plants a gross, sloppy kiss on his cheek.

“Nasty,” Jonas says in response, earning a snort from Mitch. “Mitch?” he asks again hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“What what will we do after – after this?”

“What do you mean?” Mitch asks, and Jonas almost sighs in frustration, mostly at himself.

“I mean when the next winter comes,” Jonas says, “I’ll somehow get away from the herd and – and come up to land with you – but then what happens after that? Are we just going to keep doing this? This –“ Jonas tries to continue. “This is hard,” he finishes lamely, and his cheeks burn with how pathetic he sounds.

“I don’t know, Joey,” Mitch says. “We’ll just... we’ll just figure it out when we fuckin’ get there, okay?” he says, the sound of his voice low in Jonas’ ear. 

Jonas pushes down the urge to argue, to tell Mitch that he  _needs_  to know, needs the reassurance that their relationship isn’t going to drown in the ocean where Jonas is going. He also pushes down the tiny, subtle urge to cry that makes his eyes prick with small tears and turns his face so his cheek is pressed against Mitch’s chest. He wants to ask Mitch what will happen if they  _don’t_  figure it out. But he doesn’t. 

“Joey, it’s gonna be fine.”

Jonas nods, slowly, and closes his eyes. 

“You worried about yer foster dad?” Mitch asks.

“Yes.”

He feels Mitch nod, his chin brushing against the top of Jonas’ head. 

“I won’t let him take you away from me.”

Jonas nods, his eyes welling up even more.

“I hope Sidney is okay,” Jonas says after a while.

“She can probably handle herself,” Mitch says, and Jonas looks up at him, squinting. 

“You don’t know anything about her,” he points out. 

Mitch rolls his eyes. “That one time I met her she almost bit my fuckin’ head off, Spots. I’m sure she’s fine.”

Jonas laughs softly, but he’s torn between desperately wanting to stay with Mitch and missing his sister so much it almost hurts. “I miss her.” 

“I know, Joey.”

After a while, Jonas straightens up so he can kiss Mitch gently on the lips. Mitch raises his eyebrows at him when he pulls away, and Jonas says simply, “I love you,” he says, and hopes it communicates to Mitch just how grateful he is to him. Mitch says them back, pulling him in for another kiss, and they stay in the bathtub even as the bathwater turns cold.

* * *

 

Mitch watches as Jonas flips a page from across the couch. He fiddles with the sharp metal cap of his beer bottle as Jonas brushes a curl out of his face with his hand, and tilts his head so that he’s leaning against the back of the couch. Mitch sighs inaudibly through his nose and gets distracted by the number of freckles on Jonas’ nose, right before his Joey-induced daze gets interrupted by Scratch smacking him across the head. 

“When are you ever gonna’ stop staring at your boy, Mitch?” she asks, pinching Mitch’s ear and he snarls, reaching out to grab her but she darts out of his grasp, cackling like a fucking gremlin.

Mitch sees Jonas blush, a tiny smile tugging at his lips as he tries to hide behind his book. He meets Mitch’s eyes shyly for half a second, and Mitch’s heart just about implodes. He’s going red too as he tells Scratch to go fuck herself, and she just laughs harder. 

“Scratch, chill out,” Javier says, but then he also adds, “But seriously though, you’re fuckin’ gross, bro.”

“I’m kicking you assholes out,” he grumbles, but he smiles at Jonas when he giggles at him. He seriously considers it, because Jonas is staring at him with his soft green eyes, right before he tears his gaze away and goes back to his book.

“Joey-boy! You should have some beer!” Scratch says, nudging Joey with a bottle and leaning into his space like a fucking creep.

“Fuck off, ya’ lil’ rat. Don’t fuckin’ pressure him,” Mitch snaps. Scratch rolls her eyes at him but backs off. 

To his surprise, when he turns back to Jonas he says, “No – I – I would like to try some.” He reaches out across the couch but Mitch lifts his beer bottle away and out of reach. 

“You sure?” Mitch asks, worried that he feels pressured, “Ya’  _really_ don’t have to if ya’ don’t wanna.” 

Jonas nods, reaching out again, and Mitch hesitantly gives him the bottle. Jonas clasps it in two hands and takes a sip, his face immediately contorting into one of disgust. “It tastes like – like –“

“Like piss?” Mitch supplies, and Jonas nods in agreement. To his shock, Jonas braces himself and takes a few huge swigs, his face still showing an expression of disgust. He wipes his mouth and hands the bottle back to Mitch, who takes it with his eyes still bugging out of his head. 

“It’s not... that bad, I guess,” Jonas says, meekly, and Mitch takes a swig himself, still staring at him. 

A few more hours of just fucking around and yelling at each other about Mario Kart pass, and eventually Mitch’s friends leave, but not before Scratch grabs Jonas by the head and strokes his hair, weeping drunkenly about how cute he his, and Mitch has to pry her off of him like a fucking barnacle and kick her out of his apartment before Jonas combusts from embarrassment. 

Mitch is kind of tipsy himself, so when he manages to close the door, he backs Jonas up against it, his hands caging him in as Mitch leans in for a kiss. Joey reaches up with both his hands and squeezes Mitch’s cheeks, tiptoeing up to kiss him messily, and despite all the wet spit and excessive tongue, Mitch enjoys it. Jonas pulls back after a few moments, panting heavily, and says, “I – I think I am drunk.” He swallows heavily and nods, as if he’s agreeing with himself, and Mitch laughs. “I think y’are too.” 

Mitch drags them back to the bed and Jonas lays himself on top of him, giggling quietly, and Mitch starts to laugh too, soft and hiccupping and stupid. “Ya’ fuckin’ lightweight,” Mitch teases, squeezing his arms around Jonas’ waist. 

“I don’t know what that means,” Joey says.

“Means ya’ can’t handle yer fucking drink.”

Jonas dissolves into giggles again, looking up from his place on Mitch’s chest with a lopsided smile; Mitch is dizzy with the feeling, the intoxicating feeling of making Jonas giggly and happy. He strokes Jonas’ hair back and rubs his thumbs across the apples of his cheeks. Joey tilts his head and buries his face into Mitch’s neck, and the fluttery feeling in his stomach heightens, almost like the nauseous sensation of anxiety but somehow a complete flipside of it.

Jonas rolls off of him but keeps close anyway, pressing his face into Mitch’s, not even kissing him but just pulling himself in as close as possible. He tastes like beer and faintly like toothpaste and coffee and it’s kind of gross but Mitch keeps his mouth on his anyway. He tastes like home.

* * *

 

Mitch wakes up in pitch darkness as he gasps for breath, a hand clutching at his own chest as he tries to steady his own heartbeat. He can still feel his nightmare clawing at the edges of his consciousness, and he flails for a second, forgetting where he is as he frantically looks around himself. 

He startles when he hears a soft voice behind him, and he sees Jonas as his eyes start to adjust to the darkness. Joey is looking at him with worried eyes, his hand coming up to smooth against Mitch’s back soothingly. He hears Jonas say something, maybe asking him if he’s okay, but he can’t hear it through his heartbeat still pounding through his ears. 

He turns into Jonas and clutches him, the softness of the fabric of Jonas’ shirt bringing him back into the world and out of his dreams. Jonas reaches up and cradles his face, looking into Mitch’s eyes as his breath starts to regulate. Jonas is pulling him closer, fingers now pressing into Mitch’s shoulder blades and he leans into it, slowly lying back onto the bed as Jonas hugs him close. Mitch presses his cheek against Jonas’ soft chest and curls around him like a he's a pillow. He can’t help the shameful sniffles that escape him, and his face burns when Jonas strokes his hair. He grits his teeth as a tear makes its way out of one of his eyes. 

“Sorry,” he says hoarsely. 

“It's okay,” Jonas says, his fingers still threading through Mitch’s sweaty hair. 

Mitch falls asleep again after a few hours, lulled by the rhythm of Jonas’ breathing.

* * *

 

Mitch wakes up again to the sound of Jonas screaming. He jolts, sitting up immediately as he watches Jonas writhe in pain on the bed next to him. Jonas looks at him with wide, terrified eyes, clutches Mitch’s forearm with his nails digging in painfully as his face twists, tears streaming down his face. 

“Joey,  _Joey_ , what the fuck is happening –“ Mitch says frantically, and Jonas digs his nails in harder as he tries to gasp out words through his gritted teeth.

“ _It hurts_ _– my legs –“_ He’s cut off by his own sob as another fresh wave of pain wracks his body, and Mitch curls over him protectively, unable to do anything else. Mitch looks on in horror as Jonas’ legs seem to rip themselves into something new, and the agonized cries that Jonas lets out is painful and torturous and Mitch hates this  _so fucking much._ Mitch strokes his trembling hands over Jonas’ cheeks, whispering soft words of reassurance, but Jonas is still crying, his hands curling into claws as he squeezes them around Mitch’s arms so hard he almost draws blood. 

Mitch feels a dark mixture of horror and guilt settle into him as he realises that Jonas was completely  _alone_  the first time this happened, when the reverse occurred in Mitch’s bathtub all those months ago. Jonas was alone, and Mitch, like a fucking idiot, wasn't even with him when it happened. Now, he holds Jonas close to him as he whimpers in pain and the horrible cracking,  _wrenching_  sound continues.

It almost seems to never end, but Jonas’ cries subside after a while, his hands no longer digging red little crescent moons into his skin but just holding him. Jonas’ breath is ragged, trembling and crashing like stormy waves on a beach. Mitch strokes his hair as comfortingly as he can, listening to Jonas’ sobs calm down and turn into quiet whimpers. Mitch dares to look down at Jonas’ lower half, and even though he knows it’s there, it still shocks him that Jonas’ legs have been replaced by the sleek, mottled tail. The mess of dark grey fins at the end of his tail twitch and shudder, as if getting accustomed to existing again. 

Mitch slowly wipes away the tears on Jonas’ face, but his face is so wet with them that it’s almost futile. “Joey, are you okay?” Mitch asks, his voice barely shaking with desperation.

There’s a terrifying silence that follows, only filled with the sound of Jonas’ harsh, shallow breathing. He finally nods, still trembling, and Mitch breathes a sigh of relief. Jonas opens his eyes. 

“I – I’m fine,” he croaks, voice hoarse and low. 

“Fuck,” Mitch says, unable to say anything else, and he hugs Jonas close, listening to him breathe unsteadily. 

His throat closes over as he realizes that this is it. And there’s nothing he can do.  

Mitch composes himself and gets off the bed to stand beside Joey. “Do ya’... do ya’ want me to fill up the bathtub?” 

Jonas hesitates but nods, his eyes closing again in exhaustion. Mitch leaves Jonas’ side with reluctance, squeezing his arm once in a gesture of comfort. In the bathroom, Mitch turns on the hot water and watches as the water spurts out of the tap, slowly rising up the sides of the tub. He rests his head in his hands for a moment, squeezing his temples in an attempt to help regulate his breathing.

Eventually he gets up again, remembering that Jonas is still alone in his bed. It’s strangely jarring to see him like this, to see him in his  _actual_  form. Mitch smiles as gently as he can when Jonas opens his eyes at the sound of his approaching footsteps, as if nothing’s wrong, as if Mitch himself isn’t freaking the  _fuck_  out.

Mitch gently works his hands underneath Jonas’ body, apologizing softly when he winces. He’s heavy, even more so with the tail, but Mitch doesn’t let it show as he carries Joey to the tub, setting him into the warm water slowly. Joey sinks in, the same mask of exhaustion on his face as when Mitch had come home only to find Jonas in his human form. 

Mitch dips his hand in the water and smooths his hand over Joey’s forehead, pushing the sweaty, dark strands of hair out of his face. He sits on the cold tiles, arms draped over the side of the tub and Jonas shifts, one of his hands coming up to grip Mitch’s forearm. 

“You okay?” 

Jonas just shrugs. He keeps his eyes closed. Mitch watches him for the rest of the night, and he tries to ignore the faint taste of bile rising in the back of his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasnt it fuckn cool when joey kicked neil in the nuts in the new update
> 
> anyways thank u as always for readin
> 
> there'll prob b like 2-3 more chapters left,, thank u to everyone who's stuck around for so long!!


	10. Elastic Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart   
> But your blade it might be too sharp   
> I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard   
> But I may snap when I move close   
> But you won't see me fall apart   
> 'Cause I've got an elastic heart 
> 
> \- Elastic Heart by Sia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitch and Jonas say goodbye.

Mitch walks into the bathroom, and Jonas sits up in the tub, his face breaking into a small smile. Mitch sits on the tiles. 

“Ready?” 

Jonas’ smile fades and he looks away before he nods once. Mitch's smile drops too, instantaneous, and he swallows. He reaches up to lace his fingers in Jonas' damp hand and squeezes once, trying to convey reassurance and calm in that one squeeze, but he's never been much good at comforting people and Jonas doesn't return the gesture. 

Mitch waits, lacing their fingers tighter together.

Jonas lets go instead, bringing his hand back into his lap, and Mitch ignores the light sting he feels.

They don’t say anything on the way to the cove. Mitch steals occasional glances at Jonas, wrapped in his plaid jacket, but his face is turned to look out the car window and all Mitch can see is a faint outline of his reflection. 

At the edge of the forest, Mitch gets out of the car and goes around to pick Jonas up from the passenger seat, awkwardly bringing Jonas’ arms around his own neck. Neither of them say a word. By the time they’re on the beach, Mitch is struggling to keep his breathing under control and Jonas has whispered at a dozen worried apologies every time Mitch stumbles a little.

Mitch keeps a steady pace nevertheless, his eyes trained on the unwavering line of the horizon. Jonas doesn’t say another word, but his grip tightens ever so slightly on Mitch’s neck. As soon as Mitch’s feet enter the water, Jonas says, “You don’t have to go in. I can go from here.”

Mitch clears his throat. “No, it’s fine,” he says, and he wades in deeper, ignoring the disgusting way the seawater seeps into his sneakers. He wades in until Jonas is submerged up to the hip. Then he stops, and his heart starts to pound uncontrollably as if it’s only just realising what is about to happen. He becomes still, and so does Jonas in his arms, both of them looking towards the horizon to avoid each other’s gaze. 

A few agonizing moments pass and Jonas shifts in his arms. “Mitch. You can let go, now,” he says softly, and Mitch’s throat constricts. He bends his knees, sinking lower into the water and releases his grip on Jonas’ soft body slowly. Jonas moves away from him, deeper into the ocean and Mitch instinctively chases after him. He manages to wrap his fingers around Jonas’ slippery wrist, anchoring them together.

Jonas comes back to him and the ache in Mitch’s chest eases a little. “So,” Mitch starts, but his throat catches. Jonas finally smiles a bit up at him, comforting. 

“I’ll see you soon, Mitch,” he says softly and Mitch nods back.

“Yeah,” Mitch says, “So – bye, I guess.” He immediately kicks himself mentally, but Jonas reaches up and wraps his arms around his neck anyway. 

“I’ll miss you,” Joey whispers, his voice a soft, comforting blanket that wraps around him, and Mitch can’t help but kiss him, because he can’t think of anything else. Mitch melts into it, his body sinking deeper into the frigid water, his arms wrapping around Jonas once again, fingers pressing into brown skin in a desperate attempt to keep Jonas’ warmth etched into the lines of his hands. 

The moment ends when Joey pulls away, unravelling himself from Mitch until their only point of contact is Jonas’ hands on Mitch’s forearms. “I have to go,” he says and Mitch nods, unable to find any words to say. Jonas pulls him in for one last hug, which Mitch savours with his eyes closed, and then Joey is receding into the water. 

“I love you,” he says, his ocean-green eyes locked on Mitch’s, and Mitch notices his lower lip trembling ever so slightly. Before he can even reply, Joey turns around and disappears with a short, clean splash. 

Mitch stares at the space where Joey was, the water rippling with the motion of the tide. “I love you too,” Mitch says, to no one. 

* * *

 

That night, Mitch lays in bed with his eyes locked on the ceiling. The first thing he notices about Jonas’ absence is how quiet it is. The middle-of-the-night silence is filled by his breathing and his breathing alone. Strangely, Mitch doesn’t feel heart-wrenchingly sad. Maybe reality hasn’t set in yet. Maybe he’s already too used to good things being taken away from him. Whatever it is, Mitch rolls over to his side and promptly falls asleep within a quarter of an hour. 

When Mitch wakes up again, it’s to the sound of his own ragged, harsh breathing. The nightmare hasn’t fully yet fallen off the edges of his memory, so he spends the rest of the night fending off his own consciousness and trying not to miss the feeling of soft arms wrapped around his chest. 

* * *

 

“How did you manage to survive?” Dean asks, his tone slightly accusatory. Almost like he knows that Jonas was helped by a human.  _Mitch._

His heart contracts a little, but he manages to clear his throat and say, “I - I found an abandoned house. It was empty so I stayed in there. And – um - I stole some human clothes from nearby, and –“

“You interacted with  _humans_?”

The way Dean spits out the word like it’s foul in his mouth makes Jonas flinch. “Um – I mean, yes of course, a bit, but it couldn’t be helped –“ 

“So you’re telling me you survived the whole winter with those creatures?” 

Jonas swallows the thick lump in his throat and manages to nod. “Yes.”

Dean peers at him with his cold, steely eyes. Jonas can almost see the cogs turning in his head, trying to figure out how in the world Jonas had possibly survived by himself. Being as he is. 

Finally, he seems to accept Jonas’ answer, and gives him a sharp, approving nod. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re back, Jonas.” He lays a heavy hand on Jonas’ shoulder, ignoring Jonas’ slight flinch at the motion. “Now that I know you can take care of yourself, I’ll be placing more responsibility on you from now on, Jonas.” 

Jonas feels his heart sink, but he nods. He knows he should be thankful that he got away so easily. "Thank you," he whispers.

Dean gives one more final look at him, then turns to dive back into the water. Jonas sighs in relief once he's gone and flops onto his back on the cold boulder. He closes his eyes and stays there for a couple of minutes, trying to get his thoughts back in order. They always inevitably come back to Mitch.

The sound of someone emerging from the water makes Jonas abruptly sit back up, heart pounding. 

"Chill, it's just me," Sidney says, lifting herself up with a huff onto the boulder next to him. Jonas lays back down, ignoring the sharp pain in the back of his head as he accidentally falls back too hard. 

"How was meeting up with  _Satan_  again?"

"You know if you keep calling him that, he's going to catch you and then slaughter us both."

Even though his eyes are closed, he can feel Sid rolling her eyes at him. He opens them to see her looking down at him with an almost pitying expression on her face. 

"It was bad," he admits, and groans. Sid lays down next to him, and the both of them look up at the sky. There are a few clouds, slowly but surely making their way across the sky, soft lines carving out their shapes, like the lines of a person's palm. 

"Do you think he'll ever get mauled by a shark, like preferably in the near future?" Sid asks, her tone making it seem more like a remark.

"I don't know. Hopefully. There aren't that many sharks in this area though."

"Ugh."

He snorts, and Sid laughs softly. Then she leans up and braces her head on her hand. "Hey, seriously, are you okay?"

Jonas shrugs, then nods. "Yeah, I mean, I'm glad I get to see you again. I missed you."

Sid grins, punches him softly and says, "I missed you too." Then she frowns at him. "You know, you still haven't told me everything that happened up there. It's like – I feel like you're holding something back."

Sometimes he hates how perceptive his sister is, how well she can tune into his feelings like she’s honing in on a radio signal. He turns over to his side, facing away from her. He can't look her in the eyes for the conversation they're inevitably about to have next; he tries anyway to divert the flow of her coming questions. "Nothing happened, Sid."

He hears her scoff. " _Nothing?_  You were up there for, what, three, four months and  _nothing_ happened? _"_

Jonas sighs, "Of course I did  _things_ , Sid, but it's not – I'm not holding – there's nothing -." He cuts himself off with a huff. 

Sid doesn't say anything for a few moments. "You just seem kind of sad, Jo," she says quietly. "Like you hadn't wanted to leave."

Jonas swallows, his throat suddenly stuck. He shrugs after a moment. 

"I mean... did you really like it that much up there?" 

“No – I mean, yeah–" Jonas clears his throat. “I did. I liked being up there.”

“What about that human guy? Matt? What happened with him?”

“His name is Mitch. And –“ He turns to look up with narrowed eyes at Sid. “What do you mean, what happened with him?”

“I mean, what, was he with you the whole time? He let you stay with him for almost four months? He didn’t seem like the real  _patient_  type.”

“ _You’re_  not the real patient type,” Jonas mutters in response, and Sid flicks him on the shoulder. “You don’t know him, Sid. He was – he was really nice to me.” Jonas clears his throat, and turns over to face his sister. “I just – I miss him. ...Already.” 

There’s a silence, and Jonas’ face starts to burn as he waits for Sidney to realize his feelings for the human who saved him.

“Oh,  _Jojo_.”

He hears the unsubtle sound of disappointment and worry in her voice, and he curls into himself. His eyes film over with tears, but he doesn’t even know why. He feels Sid place a soft hand on his upper arm. She pats him awkwardly, and Jonas blinks away the tears and rolls his eyes, turning over to face her. "I'm fine," he says, and Sidney makes a disbelieving face at him, causing Jonas to push her away, snorting as she slips and falls ungracefully off the boulder. 

Spluttering, Sidney lifts herself to rest her upper body on the surface next to where Jonas is sitting. "You suck," she huffs at him, slicking her hair off her face. Then her face turns serious. "So you like this guy? Seriously? Mr.  _The-Only-Expression-I-Have-Is-A-Scowl_?" 

"Oh my god, will you please shut up," Jonas groans. "But I guess the answer is yes," he adds hesitantly.

Sidney pauses, looking into Jonas' eyes for even a hint of a joke, but when she finds nothing, she just shakes her head.  _"Gross"_ , she mutters, then smiles a bit at Jonas, letting him know that she's on his side. "So does he like... like you back?"

Jonas colours pink at the question, but nods. Sid raises her eyebrows. "That's cool. But he's a  _human_."

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"You know what I mean."

Jonas sighs, "I don't know. We'll – we'll figure it out, somehow. We  _have_  to figure it out."

* * *

 

A few days after Jonas left, Mitch watches as the sun sets, slow and honey-coloured as it melts into the horizon. He picks up a pebble and lobs it into the sparkling water, ignoring the growing ache in his chest. He knows he shouldn't have expected Joey to have come back so soon after he just left – he's probably busy down there, with his foster father watching over him like a hawk.

He waits another hour, just in case. Then he gets up, his joints protesting as he moves out of the position he'd been in for hours. The ache in his chest makes itself known as he starts to climb out of the cove, and he knows that if he goes home to his empty apartment it'll get even worse, so he turns in the direction of his mom's house. He hasn't seen her in a while anyway. 

When he arrives at his mom's place, she's cooking something, and the smell wafts out of the trailer; it doesn't make his stomach turn as much anymore. He hears his mom's footsteps walking towards the door and manages to plaster a smile to his own face before she opens it.

"Mitchy! I wasn't expecting you!" She exclaims, pulling him in for wet kiss on the cheek that he wipes away on his shoulder. 

"Yeah, sorry, Ma. I just thought I'd stop by."

"Aw, honey, of course. Don't apologize," she says, smacking him softly on the arm. "I'm making some mac' an' cheese; have you eaten yet?"

"Yeah," Mitch lies, "I had some takeout earlier."

"Oh, well, share some with me anyway."

At the table, Mitch scoops up a spoonful of macaroni and shovels it into his mouth, just to keep his mom from pressing him. His mind wanders and falls on the one where Joey tried to make mac' and cheese for the first time and instead only managed to set off the smoke alarm. He swallows as he remembers laughing at Joey's horrified face as they took out the smoking chunk of burnt cheese and pasta. 

"Mitch?" 

He blinks the memory away and looks up to see his mom staring at him, a concerned expression painting her face. "Hm?"

"What's on your mind, honey?"

"What? Nothing." He shifts awkwardly, avoiding her eyes. 

"Mitch..."

Mitch heaves a sigh and puts his head down on the table. He knows he's being melodramatic, but it's the first time he's ever truly been in  _love_  with someone and having that person suddenly vanish into the fucking ocean isn't doing much for his already fucked emotions. 

He can feel the familiar sensation of his mom patting his head, her acrylic nails occasionally brushing against his scalp as she combs through his hair. "Mitchy, what's wrong?"

Mitch presses his face into the table and groans, shaking his head against the hard plastic surface. He tries to come up with the words to try and explain his romantic crisis as his mom keeps patting his hair comfortingly. "… Jonas moved back to Washington," he mumbles.

The patting stops. "What? Really? Why?"

"I dunno'. I guess, family issues, or whatever. He had to go back. And I don't think he'll come back here for a while, at least." 

"Aw, baby."

He clenches his fists at the way his chest tightens. He straightens, forcing his mom's hand to fall away. "Um, can I sleep here tonight?"

"Of course, honey."

* * *

 

At the foot of his old bed, Mitch drops his face into his hands, replaying what happened in the kitchen over and over again in his head. He feels embarrassed and pathetic and sad, and the mac and cheese he ate is threatening to resurface. He considers going to the bathroom, but he remembers how upset Joey got when he found out about his issues with food, so he makes an effort to swallow it back down.

The next morning, he wakes up with the sun barely making an appearance over the horizon. He knows immediately that he won't be going back to sleep, so he jumps out of bed and throws on his jacket. The door creaks as he opens it and he winces, listening out for any other signs of life in the trailer. No one comes out to ask him where he's going, so he quickly goes out and pulls on his sneakers and walks towards the cove. He's walking fast, but he knows there probably won't be anyone waiting for him there. His breathing calms a little as he slides off the shallow cliff and into the pebbly sand, and he tears off his shoes and socks and rolls up his pants.

He sits in his favourite spot, the small area under the cliff face and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. He never completely threw them away, just stashed them under his drawers and hoped that Joey wouldn't find them. The smoke curls and wanders into the air in front of him, ruining the sunrise with its grey tendrils. Mitch closes his eyes and feels the nicotine settle into his system, feeling like he's going to melt into ground.

He lazily blinks his eyes open, surveying the landscape with heavy lids, when suddenly he sees a pebble arc through the air and land with a splash into the water. He sits up, eyes widening as another pebble, smaller this time, does the same thing. Whoever's throwing the pebbles is somewhere near the line of boulders on the edge of the sea. Somewhere near where he found Jonas for the first time. With his heart in his mouth, he clambers over the boulders, fighting his way across the slippery surface, and comes face to face with Jonas himself. 

"Mitch?" 

Mitch drops to his knees, a grin that he can't help spreading across his face. Jonas opens his mouth as if he's about to ask Mitch something, but he muffles his question with a kiss, Mitch's arms winding around Jonas' wet torso. He feels Jonas' hands grip his biceps as Jonas kisses him back.

They pull apart with a wet smack. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd only be here in the evening?' Jonas asks, and Mitch raises his eyebrows. 

"I could ask you the same thing," he says, and Jonas flushes slightly and looks away.

"I just... I was just feeling lonely. And Dean has barely let me leave his sight, not even in the evenings. I think he's asleep right now, but it won't be long before he wakes up."

"Me too." 

Jonas looks up at him quizzically, and Mitch says, "Not the Dean part, obviously, but I thought that coming here would make me feel better, y'know." 

Jonas smiles up at him, and Mitch's heart skips a beat. "I missed you, Mitch – wait." He leans into Mitch and inhales, and looks back up at him. "Have you been  _smoking?_ "

Mitch can feel himself get defensive, but he knows he shouldn't be. "Well, yeah, but -"

"Those things will  _kill_  you, Mitch!"

"You think I don't fuckin' know that?" Mitch snaps back – he doesn't mean to, but Jonas' angry tone is instinctively making him raise his hackles. He knows that Jonas is only angry because he cares about him, but he can't help but reciprocate. 

"Where are the rest of them?" Jonas demands, his hand out. 

"I don't have any more," Mitch lies, against his better judgement.

"Don't  _lie_  to me, Mitch!" Jonas says, his voice pitching higher in frustration.

They stare at each other angrily for a few tense moments, Jonas’ hand still out between them. Finally, Mitch rolls his eyes and digs the pack out of his pocket and slaps it onto Jonas' palm. Jonas glares at him before dunking them into ocean water, making sure they're thoroughly soaked, crumpling the pack aggressively between his fingers, before tossing them back into Mitch's chest. Mitch grits his teeth and shoves them back into his pocket. When he looks back at Jonas, he has his arms crossed and his gaze trained on a patch of ocean in front of him. 

Mitch's heart softens a bit, and he sits next to him. He tries to put his arm around his shoulders, but Jonas just shrugs him off. Mitch sighs, and says, "Hey. I'm sorry, okay. I'm an idiot, I know." 

Jonas doesn't say anything, his head bowed, his dark curls falling across his face so Mitch can't catch a glimpse of his expression.

“Joey?”

Suddenly, Joey leans over and buries his face in Mitch’s chest, and Mitch says a soft “Hey!” in surprise, but his arms are already automatically wrapping around his boyfriend protectively. 

“Can I see you again tonight? Please?” Jonas’ voice is barely audible over the crashing of the waves, the words slipping out like smoke, almost unnoticeable. 

Mitch hugs him tighter to himself. “I’ll be right here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, i'm so sorry for how long it took to get this chapter out, and thank you to everyone who's kept on reading this far
> 
> i hope you like this chapter, even if it is a bit sad
> 
> please leave a kudos/comment if you did like it, i appreciate all your feedback!!

**Author's Note:**

> here is a self-indulgent thing
> 
> title was taken from past lives by børns bc im trash
> 
> new chapters will prob be a week apart depends on if college kills me or not
> 
> thanks for reading, pls leave a kudos or comment if u liked it


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